Page 59 of Off Sides

And maybe an orgasm.

“If you change your mind, text me and I’ll send you our location.”

I give him a thumbs-up and lean my head back on the seat. Life has beaten me and I’m so tired of fighting.

Every part of me is exhausted. There’s nothing left to give.

Everyone gets off the bus and heads into their rooms to get changed. No one wants to hang out in these damn suits.

When I get to my room, Bryce on my heels, I drop down onto the end of my bed and put my head in my hands.

Bryce sits next to me, shoulder to shoulder with his hands clasped between his legs. “You want to talk about it?”

“There’s nothing to say.” There’s a knot in my throat and pressure on my shoulders. I want to yell, scream at the world to fuck off, but it won’t do any good. Bryce also doesn’t need me to unload all my bullshit on him.

“Is there anyone you talk to? Anyone you can vent to?” He leans into me a little.

Immediately, Nick pops into my head but he doesn’t really know what’s going on either. Not the details, anyway. It’s too much to unload on another person. It’ll just sound like I’m complaining anyway, like I’m a downer. No one wants to be around someone who complains all the time.

“I’m okay.” I sigh and sit up. “Just an off night.”

Bryce scratches his jaw and looks at me like he’s about to call me out. “Been having a lot of those lately.”

Yeah, thanks for that.

“You’re a good captain, man, a great player, but you’re in your head.”

He’s not wrong and that pisses me off. But it’s not his fault.

“I know.” I scrub my hands over my face. “I’m sorry I’m letting you guys?—”

“Shut up, Jesus fucking Christ. That’s not what I said.” He shoves me and I almost tip over off the bed. “Everyone can see you’re struggling but no one knows how to help because you won’t let anyone in.”

I thought I was hiding my bullshit, but I guess not. Shit.

“So, stand up and give me a hug or punch me in the face, whatever it takes to get that damn look off your face.” Bryce stands and opens his arms wide, watching me unblinkingly.

“You look like an obsessed stalker right now.” But I stand and without thinking about it, I hug him. He doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around my shoulders in a tight hug and slap my back.

“I know we’re supposed to be all emotionless Neanderthals, beating our chests and whatever, but it’s okay to need to talk to someone.” He squeezes me tighter and I take the comfort he’s offering.

When I let go, he does too, and I force a little smile on my face. “Thanks. I guess I needed that.”

“Well, hugs are all I got so if you need something else, find someone else.” He holds his hands out, palms toward me.

I chuckle and think of Nick. There are messages on my phone from him that I’m both excited and a little scared to look at. Did he watch the game? See me fucking up?

“Hey, hey!” Bryce slaps my chest. “Stop looking like someone kicked your dog. Get changed, eat something, hydrate, jack off if you need to, and go to bed.”

I lift an eyebrow at his suddenly stern tone. “And since when are you the boss of me?”

“Since you’ve been taking shitty care of yourself and it’s starting to show.”

Ouch.

Bryce steps around me and starts loosening his tie, so I do the same. In the quiet, we get changed, hang our suits up in the garment bags, and I put on pajamas while he finds jeans. All the while, I’m thinking about calling Nick. I wonder if he’ll be able to talk me through an orgasm again. It’s pathetic that I can’t get myself off. Frustrating and sad and pathetic.

“You sure you don’t want to come out?”

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