Page 65 of Fast Forward

Oh my God, he was infuriating me! “Absolutely not, how dare you even consider that!” I stood again. “This is real. This is me, this is what I want. If you don’t want to be a part of who I am, I guess we shouldn’t be together.” I ran my fingers through my hair and looked up at the sky.

“Unless there’s any hope of knocking some sense into you, then no, I guess we shouldn’t be together.”

“Believe me, I have more sense now than I ever did.”

“So this is it then, you’re breaking up with me, on your birthday?” Grant asked, still sitting on the seat, his eyes peering up at mine.

“That’s exactly what I’m doing,” I replied with a straight tone. I went to walk away but then turned back. “I’m sorry, Grant. I didn’t mean for things to end like this, but I have to do what’s right for me.” I placed the bracelet box into his hands. “As beautiful as this is, I think you should save it for someone else. Someone special, who’s traveling the same journey as you are.” I closed his fingers over the box and looked him one last time in the eye. “Bye, Grant.”

My shoes clicked as I walked away, my eyes firmly fixed on the path in front of me.

At five past twelve I looked up from my table at Parkside Cafe to see my dad walking towards me with a large present wrapped in pink, the sight of him completely smashing the bizarre memory of seeing his grave only yesterday. I stood, wrapping my arms around him without a word.

“Whoa, you’d think we hadn’t seen each other for years. Is everything all right?” He pulled back and held on to my shoulders.

“Everything’s perfect. I’m so glad to see you, that’s all.” I blinked away the threat of tears that hung by a thread from the edge of my eyes.

“I’m glad to see you too,” he said, smiling. “Happy birthday.” He handed me the gift and I sat down to unwrap it.

I held up the vase after pulling it from its box. “Oh, I love it. Thanks, Dad!” It was shaped like a splash of water rising upwards in a spiral, clear glass marbled by a hint of magenta swirling from the bottom to the top. The vase! The one I’d seen on the gift table at my fiftieth birthday party! So I didn’t design it – Dad gave it to me, which held even more importance. “I’ll treasure it forever.”

“I’m glad you like it.”

I smiled then stiffened as Kasey came to a standstill near the entrance, having just noticed Dad sitting at the table with me. She turned to walk away.

“Kasey, wait!” My chair screeched as I pushed it out from under the table and ran towards her. “I know about you and Dad. I know you’ve just found out the truth.”

“He told you, huh?”

I ignored the question. “Look, I invited Dad so we can all talk about this. You two need to get all your doubts and fears out in the open, otherwise you’ll regret it later. Trust me.”

“Oh, I don’t know. It’s probably not the right time. It’s your birthday. We shouldn’t be discussing something like this today. Besides, I have to get back to the university soon.” She looked longingly at the exit.

I grasped her hand. “C’mon, have some lunch, talk to Dad. Tell him what a great father he’s been to you.”

She drew a deep breath and nodded. “Fair enough.”

“Kasey, hi.” Dad stood and gestured for her to take a seat. “What a nice surprise.” His words belied the uncertainty in his voice. I’d taken a risk bringing them both together when the emotions were still raw, but if they didn’t make time to talk now, they never would.

“Let’s order, shall we?” I suggested, signalling a waiter before the discussion began. We exchanged small talk for a while and ate our meals, and finally Dad said, “I think Kelli wants us to discuss our situation, right, Kel?”

I nodded. “I couldn’t bear the thought of seeing you two lose the great father-daughter relationship you’ve had. I thought it would be good to get everything out in the open now, before it’s left too long.”

Kasey squirmed and Dad cleared his throat. “Well,” Dad turned to Kasey. “How are you feeling after finding out the truth?”

“How am I feeling?” she responded. “How do you think? I’ve just been told my dad isn’t really my dad, and the person responsible for this secret isn’t alive for me to confront her about it. I’m angry at Mum, and I’m angry at you for not telling me until now, and I’m angry at, oh I don’t know, I’m just angry that I’ve been taken for a ride. This spoils everything I thought was real in my life, it’s all been a lie!” Kasey’s eyes welled up with tears and her face reddened. Dad placed his hand over Kasey’s on the table but she sharply withdrew it.

“It hasn’t been a lie. Our relationship, the times we shared, Kasey, they were real. Nothing’s changed.”

“Are you kidding? Everything’s changed! My mother’s dead and my real father might as well be since I haven’t even met him.”

“Look, we can talk about the possibility of finding him sometime, if that’s what you want, but for now, we need to talk about us.” Dad pulled her hand back onto the table. “Kase, I was angry at your mother too, maybe I still am a little bit, but more for hurting you than me. I’m still the father you’ve always known, even though we have different DNA.”

“It just feels weird, you know? I feel like the odd one out, not that that’s new to me, but this confirms it. I’m not a Crawford.”

“In my eyes you are,” Dad said, as my head swivelled right and left from my father to my sister as their conversation continued. Dad lowered his head. “That is, if you still want me in your life? The way you reacted I thought… maybe you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore.”

“What? Of course I do, I mean, I just need some time to process everything and… hang on – you thought I wouldn’t want anything to do with you?”

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