Page 76 of The Darkest Parts of Me

My heart aches for what he must have been living through all these years, and that he truly believes this, but it couldn’t be further from the truth.

“Renn. Is that what you truly believe? That you are responsible for what happened?”

He scoffs, facing me. “That’s exactly what I’m saying. I was supposed to be their captain, their leader. I was supposed to be a peacemaker in this galaxy, and all I did was bring about desolation.”

I’ve never heard him speak like this before, with anger in his voice, except towards the man he killed. It catches me off guard, but I don’t back down. “I know you didn’t do any of that intentionally. You did everything you could to stop it, but you can’t control the outcomes that followed. People act of their own accord.” I pause as he continues to stare at me, baffled. “I’m so sorry that you had to live through that, Renn. That you’ve been here, all this time, terrified of what might happen—working through such a great loss alone.”

He narrows his gaze at me. “How can you feel sorry for me? I’ve lied to everyone, pretending to be this man who people can count on. Someone who is good, but that’s not the real me. That’s what I’m trying to tell you, Mave. I’m bad for you, for this entire planet. You’ve seen the risk I put you in. It was my mistake to act like everything was fine, it was all a facade.” His words feel like bullets hitting me one by one.

“I refuse to believe that it was all an act, Renn. You are a good man, it doesn't matter to me where you came from or what happened,” I say as I stand and walk to him, but as I get closer, he takes a few steps backward, distancing himself from me, and that hurts worse than his words.

“Humans from Earth are a different kind of beings. And now I’ve subjected you to that evil. Yes, we may both be human, but some humans take on a darker face than others.” Tears well up in my eyes, but he keeps going. “I’m not the man you think I am. You don’t know the real me.”

I feel physically ill at this. He can’t be serious, but I gaze into his eyes and see that he means every word. Anger builds in me, and I don’t hold it back as it explodes.

“How dare you say that to me!” I scream.

He takes a couple more steps, backing away from me, and it only makes my anger burn more and more.

I inhale a shuddered breath before I say, “Don’t say things like that to me.”

He stays silent while I wait for a response, but he gives none. Nothing.

“You can honestly stand there and tell me that the man I’ve come to know as my friend, the man who I—” I pause, his gray eyes piercing me, like he’s daring me to say it, because we both know what I was about to admit. “Can you honestly say everything that has happened between us doesn’t matter now and that I don’t know you?”

I don’t have any more strength to hold back the tears falling fast from my eyes, yet he still says nothing.

“Did it mean anything to you?”

Renn shuts his eyes tight for a moment then looks back to me with pity, actual pity in his eyes. Again nothing.

“Say something.”

Still not a word passes from his lips. I strut up to him and shove him hard in the chest. His strong body hardly moves.

“Say something, Renn!”

He looks at me long and hard, holding back tears that shine in his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Maven.” His voice breaks, raw and quiet. The sounds make me hurt in places I didn’t know were possible.

“Stop. Saying. That.”

He inhales but is still at a loss for words. I stare at him, begging him to say something, to do something.

“You came to me, Renn. I let you into my life. And now you’re telling me it was for nothing?”

He bites his lip hard and tears his eyes away from mine. “I was trying to be the man I wanted to be, but I can’t be him . . . not even for you.”

I want to scream.

How could I have been so stupid? How did this happen?

In an instant, that shining light in my heart has vanished, and now I’m nothing but an empty shell standing before him. He took that last bit that my dark heart had left to give and tossed it aside.

“How could you do this to me?” I whisper.

He looks back, a single tear falling from his eyes. “Maven.” What used to send warmth throughout my body, hearing him say my name, only burns me.

He takes a step forward, “Maven, I—”

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