Page 83 of Exile and Embrace

I wish I could walk until everything that’s tangled up in my mind straightened itself out.

Finn falls into step with me within a couple minutes. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I stop and turn to look at him. The concern in his eyes has the floodgates opening.

I point in the direction we came from. “She’s my mom, Finn. Becca O’Reilly gave birth to me and then stepped out of my life when I was a toddler. Becca said that I was about two and a half when Dad took me and started raising me. Nadia was there too, as his friend. I don’t even remember Becca. I always thought that my mom was my mom. She just didn’t love me. Nobody told me any different.”

Finn’s mouth drops open. “I’ve heard some twisted shit, but that takes the cake. I have half a mind to get on a fucking plane right now and go speak to your mother.”

I sniffle as tears track down my cheeks. “As much as yelling at someone would make me feel better, I just want to go home.”

He loops his arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug.

I hold onto him, my tears soaking his shirt.

Finn kisses the top of my head. “We’re going to go home, and I’m going to get you one of those hot baths you like going and then we’re going to watch one of those sappy movies you like so much.”

“I don’t think that I can handle a sappy movie right now.”

“Then we’ll watch something filled with blood and guts. Whatever you want to do.” He rubs my back as I clutch his shirt in my hands. “You’re not going to go through this alone, Aves, I’m here for you.”

21

FINN

Ava sits on the couch with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders like she has for the last four days. She pours over her father’s journals, looking for any clue that might have told her about her birth mother sooner.

When we came out to Portland together, the last thing I was expecting was to find out that my boss’s wife is Ava’s mom.

I perch on the arm of the couch as Ava scribbles more notes on a scrap piece of paper. “Aves, don’t you think that it’s time to get out of the house for a little bit? Maybe get some fresh air.”

“Windows are open.” She doesn’t bother to look up as she flips to the next page in the journal.

“And it’s dark outside. You were sitting here when I left this morning and you’ve still been here since I got back. Which means that you haven’t gotten off this couch all day. The windows being open all day isn’t enough.”

She finally looks up at me, her gaze cutting through me. “I have too much that I need to figure out. Nothing I knew is the truth. Nobody in my fucking life other than my sister has told me the truth.”

I reach out and take the journal from her. “We’re getting out of the house. I have a job to do, and I’m not going to let you spend another eight hours spiraling about your family.”

“Wouldn’t you be losing your mind if you were in this position too?” Her tone is sharp as she shoves the blanket off her shoulders and crosses her arms. “Finn, my entire life has been upended.”

“And you’re going to make yourself sick if all you do is sit here and worry about what you might’ve missed that would’ve told you about your past sooner.” I put the journal on one of the side tables and stand up. “Let’s go. We’re taking a break.”

“Not happening.”

I arch an eyebrow before lunging.

She yelps as I pick her up and toss her over my shoulder.

I chuckle as she smacks my ass. “Aves, I told you that we were going to get out of here for a little bit. I’m worried about you, and I’m not going to keep leaving you alone to get lost in your own head.”

“Put me down. I don’t need a babysitter. I need to figure out who the hell I am.”

“You know who you are. Having a different mother than you thought you did doesn’t change that.” I carry her through the house and out to the car. I hold her as I open the door before putting her into the passenger seat.

She scowls at me. “I don’t have a damn clue where I come from, though. There’s this entire other person who should have been in my life. And how do I know that she’s telling the truth? If she really wanted to be part of my life, why didn’t she fight harder?”

“You’d have to talk to her about that.”

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