Page 58 of Absolution

“San Francisco?”

He nods.

“You gotta go see her. Them.”

“No. You don’t understand. She thinks I’m dead. For two fucking years my existence made her life hell. You didn’t see her, she was a shadow of her former self.”

“So are you.”

He shrugs. “She’s finally free. She’s better off.”

“But you don’t wanna hurt her again? Right?”

“Fuck no!”

“Then explain to her—”

“No!”

“What the fuck? You’re so stubborn. All of you. You’re hopeless.”

“Unlike you, sis?”

I stick out my tongue at him.

“Angela, I’ll just hurt her more. It’s all I do. I can’t be the man she needs.”

“There’s good in you, Christian! You have to believe that.”

“I don’t do your New Age stuff. I don’t believe in shit like that. You are what you are. I’m a monster.”

“New Age,” I scoff, “that’s so the eighties.”

“Vegan shit, then? Buddhism. Whatever. A man is defined by his actions. My actions speak loud and clear. I can’t ever go near them again or I’ll destroy them.”

“I think she’s already there.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nate said she went to see Salvatore.”

Christian’s eyes darken, but he doesn’t answer.

“And you two have a child together, a Russo. I think she’s already there, in the dark. She’s in the worst shit imaginable if Salvatore’s got his eye on her. And he has, you know it.”

Christian suddenly sits up, sweat beading on his forehead. “Give me that smoothie, but you gotta get me some real proteins too, red meat. I need to get back on my fucking feet.”

I stand. “Now we’re talking. There’s my brother. I wondered who that whining puddle in bed was.”

A wicked grin spreads on his face and I see a little bit of myself in there, in the dark determination to get what I want. Whatever it is he needs to do, he’ll do it. There are no other options.

“Ang,” he says, “you’re fucking brilliant.”

“I know. You owe me one.”

“No. I owe you a million. Now go get me some real food, woman!”

*San Francisco*

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