Page 34 of Absolution

“Yes,” I say, defensively.

“Where’s the father?”

I don’t miss a beat. “I don’t know.”

He doesn’t miss a beat either. “You don’t know?”

I shake my head. “I was with someone… Just a night out. I was a bit reckless back then.” I grimace and try to mix my real pain into the lie. The pain I felt then, the pain I feel now.

“That’s a lot of nights out.”

I raise my chin. “So? Is that a crime?”

He frowns, then he shakes his head and scribbles. I’m not sure how to interpret his expression. Drunken one-night stands are as far from me as it gets, and I itch to rectify the lie, to restore my reputation, even if it’s only between him and me, and doesn’t mean a thing.

“What happened after your daughter was born? Did you come here before or after?”

“I moved here after. I thought we’d be okay…” My voice trails off. My chest feels so heavy, so tight. I try to inhale but end up fighting for air through endless sets of coughs. Finally, I fall back onto my pillow, sweaty. Tired. So, so tired.

Officer Tremblay clears his throat and hands me a glass of water. “I’m sorry I have to put you through all this.”

I nod and drink a small sip. “I want to help. Did you find him yet?”

“What happened these last few days, Kerry, may I call you Kerry?”

I nod.

“Did he try to kill you? Force himself on you?”

I shake my head.

“Why is that? I’m sorry—” He waves his large hands in the air. “This is all a little confusing to me. Are you saying he didn’t try to harm you? What was he after all this time then? Did he assault you in any way?”

I clear my voice. How am I going to put this? Lies are best when close to the truth. “I think he wanted to be with me… Like romantically.” My voice trails off. “And I think Cecilia’s presence made him restrain himself.”

He frowns. “An obsessed stalker who develops a conscience… Huh. How long was he with you?”

I bite my lip and try to think. “I’m not sure… the days melted into one another… maybe three days. Or four.”

He studies me and his intelligent eyes seem to look right into me.

Tremblay looks like a teddy bear, friendly, harmless, but I suddenly know his looks are deceiving, that he is very good at what he does—a frightening opponent for those who oppose him.

“What happened between the two of you during all this time?”

“The first day… or two maybe, I tried to,” my cheeks heat up, “kill him… a few times.” I look defensively at him, challenging him to say something. “I had to try to get away.”

He nods and doesn’t say anything. It encourages me that he isn’t judging me. “The last day, Cece got sick and I begged him to help us get back here. At that point I didn’t care about what he did to me, what his plans were or anything… I just needed to take her to safety. And he did. He helped us.”

“What did he plan to do once you got back into town?”

I shake my head slowly. “I have no idea, Officer. I never asked. I was afraid to ask, actually.”

“Tell me about when he left you.”

I shudder, reliving the horrifying moment, fingering the soft skin on the back of the chubby little hand I’m holding. “Cece fell—I fell and dropped her—and she slid over the edge of the ravine… and he… and he… threw himself after her, caught her somehow and pushed her back up.” I swallow back the tears. “That was the last I saw of him. I think he must’ve fallen into the river.”

“That… or he found a convenient escape.”

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