Page 35 of Absolution

I grimace. My head spins.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Christian Russo is the most capable man I’ve ever met. If there’s even the slightest chance he could have lived, he lives. My heart tells me he’s alive. My brain says he’s dead, that it’s just not possible he’d survive that fall and the cold water.

The door slides open behind him and my nurse for the day enters. “Officer! Is this really necessary? You have by far exceeded your stay for today, she’s exhausted! You’ll have to come back another time.” She rushes to my side and pulls a little at the sheet, adjusts some fluid bags and fiddles with something I can’t see, showing clearly she wants him to leave.

He takes the hint and stands, cap in hand. “I’ll need to come back, though.”

I hold his gaze. “Did you find him?”

He shakes his head. “Only the ski cap at the bottom of the ravine, and some smeared blood right next to it. We’re looking further downstream. We will find him. If he’s there, we’ll find him. Don’t you worry.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” I say slowly.

“If he fell into the water, he’s dead, Miss Jackson. He wouldn’t last more than a few minutes in that river. We’ll keep looking. For closure. But I doubt he’s coming back.”

“Okay,” I whisper and smile meekly.

That’s not what I’m worried about. I’m worried they will find him. And that he’ll still be alive. And I don’t know who I worry about more.

Him.

Or them.

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