Page 2 of Control

We began our game, me choosing the darker pieces and her going with the lighter ones. Move by move we nodded our heads and observed each other’s strategy for the match. We slid pieces across the board, picked them up and had them move back and forth, occasionally taking each other’s pieces when strategy called for it. She defeated me again as she usually did, but I thoroughly enjoyed the match being able to hang tough against an opponent that was far more skilled and experienced than I was. Just then, the Vice Principal of the school came in with a camera in her hands and began to take photographs of the students at play. After catching a few candid moments, they made their way over to Ms. Montgomery and I as we sat at our table, post match, talking and enjoying ourselves. Once we realized that our photo was going to be taken, Ms. Montgomery stood up and moved closer, wrapping her arm around me and leaning her head against mine. I glanced over to her for a moment, but looked back to the camera and smiled just in time for the picture to be taken.

I remember that day like it was yesterday, the bright flash of the camera still firmly part of my memory. I held the framed picture of me and Ms. Montgomery in my hand for a moment, my slight and delicate fingers caressing the old wooden frame. I stood there in my bedroom present day, dressed in a old and raggedy Nirvana band t-shirt and gray sweatpants that had once fit me perfectly, but then hung off my body after losing some weight. I remembered that I had gone grocery shopping and that I had to put my purchases away before I’d forgotten about them and let them sit on the kitchen floor, a terrible habit I’d managed to develop over time. I set the photograph back down on my old wooden dresser and made my way back to the kitchen.

I put away all the perishables and set aside a can of condensed soup that would be my dinner. Afterward, I sat down on my couch and let myself sink into the cushions. I hated going out. I can only be around other people in the flesh for so long before I need to be home again where I can feel some sense of comfort. Real people are too much of a hassle in a lot of cases so when I did go out, it’s only for essentials and once I secured them, I come right back home. If there’s anything else I needed that I couldn’t find at the grocery store or some other local establishment, I’d just order it online and have it delivered.

I stared at the white, ‘popcorn’ ceiling for a good five minutes before I was able to make myself stand up again. The quiet of my apartment does calm me and my choice of cities helps with the need to be away from most people. While not exactly small, my little city had a low enough population that I was able to avoid the pitfalls of living in a larger city. Traffic jams, road rage, and packed parking lots were some things I never had to worry about, not since moving away from Texas where those issues were only getting worse.

I didn’t bother untying the laces on my sneakers and chose to just slide them off of my feet. They’re a pair I’d managed to keep looking new because I’d use them typically once a week when I’d go out for supplies. I worked from home, running a consultation firm and working sometimes over 60 hours a week. I’d turned my additional bedroom into an office and often took video calls in there. All of my cameras and video equipment I had I used for my business, usually when a company I am working with sends me samples to go over and inspect, try, and test. Product development was my forte and I was good at it.

The money was also what allowed me to live what I though was a somewhat comfortable life, although I did work far too much. Even at one of my previous employers I would only work about 3 days a week, maybe 4 if I wanted to make more money, but I was young and enjoyed my days off so it worked out well.

Those days were far behind me though and I had to focus on doing the best job I could for the companies I worked with. I wasn’t their employee, but an outside contractor. Contracts and various non-disclosure agreements were the norm for me and I had a lawyer on retainer that went over all my contracts before I signed them to ensure I was not accidentally giving up any sort of rights to my work, photographs, and any other thing I might do. All of the companies tried to get me to give up my licenses for my work, but each and every one of them was rebuffed. I’d give them my standards and if they didn’t go along with them, I’d pass on the job. Many of them would eventually come back to the table though and offer more money, but not a single time since I’d started my firm had I given up any rights to my work.

About 3 years ago, I was sent a package which I thought was from a company I’d done some work for. It wasn’t unusual for companies to send me gifts even after I had completed my assignments with them. Often times it was small things like clothing, hats, pens, and sometimes more thoughtful items such as personal hygiene products. This package was very different though as it came from a company I wasn’t familiar with at all.

I finally got up and headed back to the kitchen to dump out my condensed chicken noodle soup into a small pan so I could warm it up. I’d forgotten to purchase regular Saltine crackers, but did have some butter crackers so those would have to fill in. After a few minutes of checking things out on various social media hubs on my phone, I took the soup and poured it into a large ceramic bowl which was another item I’d once gotten as a thank you gift.

I sat at my dining room table for several minutes before I dove into my dinner, the package of butter crackers at the table with me but still unopened. I tried my best to avoid slurping, but its soup and such things will happen. While salty, the noodles had almost no flavor and the tiny bit of chicken might as well have not even been added to it – more decoration than actual food. After finishing my meal, I got up to wash my dish, leaving the unopened package of butter crackers on the table.

I didn’t want to stay awake. I’d had a long day and the sun had already set. It was approaching 8pm and all I could think about was going back to that world where people actually gave a damn about me. The past 3 years had changed my life so dramatically that I’d never have thought it were possible. And all of it happened while I was asleep.

That package from that company that I’d gotten then was not something I’d seen coming. It arrived unexpectedly and at a time in my life where I was at my lowest when I should have been walking on air. I’d recently moved away from Texas where I had been living in a small, one bedroom apartment for a time. That is where I’d started my business. It was extremely difficult at first, but after some time I had gotten into the flow and jobs and money began to come in. After a small incident with an overzealous fan of my gaming streams showing up at my door sufficiently spooked me, I’d made the decision to leave Texas completely. I saw it as an opportunity to get away not only from my past, but also so I could be somewhere I would hopefully be happier. The cooler weather was also something I’d often sought throughout my life.

After washing my dish and turning off the kitchen light, I made my way to my bedroom where my queen sized bed pushed up against one of the back walls, surrounded by my nightstand and a solid oak writing desk that I rarely used and had become more of a decoration. On one side of my bed was my pillow, thick and plush just how I liked it, and on the other side lay my headband which connected me to the virtual world that I’d become much more satisfied with.

It was a earlier than I’d usually gone to bed, but I didn’t care. The strain from being out amongst other people had stressed me and I needed to find a way to relax. I peeled off my ratty, homely clothes and tossed them into the hamper I had just outside my bathroom. I turned on my shower, leaving the water temperature hotter than I should but had grown accustomed to over time. I brushed my teeth while letting the water hit me as I usually did, having 2 different toothbrushes – one for the shower in the evening and one for the morning which I kept by my sink.

After 20 minutes of washing my body, my once tanned skin looking as pale as a Hispanic person could, was sufficiently clean to my standards and I existed the shower, grabbing my bath towel as I stepped out. While I did not like leaving my home very often, I’d maintained my stringent self-care habits, making sure that if I needed to, I could still put on some nice clothes and make myself presentable. I’d always made sure my feet were clean and mostly free of dead skin, and excess hair was removed regardless of its location. I washed my face a few times a day to remove any excess oils that may build up and I always trimmed my fingernails down to make my hands look clean and proper, and so it was easier to type up the various reports I needed for my business.

I didn’t care that my old Soundgarden band shirt I’d gotten as a gift when I was a teenager was falling apart. I’d still wear it to bed and it was still as comfortable as ever. With my underwear on and some fairly cozy warm ups keeping my legs warm, I was ready to step into the world I more strongly preferred - a world where I was someone and people actually gave a damn about me. It’s been argued that it’s not real, but for so many of us it is.

I placed the elastic band on my head, making sure all the skin contacts were in their proper place. I’d left it charging since the morning so there was no chance of losing power which kept me from having to tether myself to a hard line power source. It didn’t matter anyway since the headband rendered players mostly paralyzed while there were logged in. The rare random movement did happen from time to time, but for me I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d woken myself up from my own movement. That is at least partially why I enjoy being in that world – Aurora – so much.

I, like most people, have my traumas. But unlike most people, those traumas never properly healed. Instead they festered and mutated, getting worse as the years when on. Years of nightmares and flashbacks had wreaked havoc on my body and mental stability. If I am being completely honest, it was a small miracle I was even still alive. In fact, the headband and the game came at the exact time I needed it to. One might even say it’s the one reason why I’m still around right now. Without it, the nightmares could have very well consumed me and even now, the occasional phantom still comes for me and I do all I can to fight them off.

With my headband secured, I fell back onto the bed which was covered in blue and white sheets and got comfortable. After placing a couple of blankets over my body, I let myself relax and reached my left hand up to my temple to activate the headband and let it begins its countdown for me. Starting from 20, I counted backwards, imagining the numbers in my head until I could practically see them as if they were the real thing floating above me and morphing from one to the next until I began to feel the game take me in.

I could see the 10 appear in front of my eyes and my grogginess increased to the point of feeling like I might faint. The REM-inducing sleep technology of the headband pushed me into a drowsy sort of drunkenness and I made no attempts to fight it as the instructions direct you not to push back so that you could make a seamless transition. A 9 appeared followed by an 8 and then a 7. I could already feel myself falling into it all, the brief nothingness that came before you were completely out. I’d waited all day for this moment. All the work I’d done that day and all the people I had to deal with would soon be a distant memory. I’d wanted this more than anything. 6. My real life was such a slog and I couldn’t help but want out of it all. 5.

“Let it all fall away,” I say to myself as the darkness overcame me. I could feel my eyes slowly blinking as I faded. “Set my body free.”

4 followed by a 3 and then quickly by 2. Finally, as if in slow motion, I could see the 1, and then the darkness set it and a sense of nothingness overtook me. I could then see the small blinking light in the corner of my vision. I waited a moment and just like magic, I was greeted by the login screen.

CHAPTER 2 - WARDROBE

“WELCOME BACK,” A soft and comforting voice said to me which I’d come to know simply as Jazz. “We’ve been waiting for your return. We hope your session is as enjoyable as possible.”

I'd logged in and my mind had a clear and clean connection. I knew to the world, the real world, I was sleeping but in this place, Aurora, I was as awake as I would be in real life. I was finally free.

“Ana,” Jazz said, calling out to me once more. “You have 38 messages waiting for you as well as several gifts. Would you like to view these now?”

“Yes,” I replied. “I would very much like that.” I paused for a moment. “Wait. Do any of the messages refer to me as Queen?”

“Many of them do,” Jazz said back to me. “Would you like me to filter those out?”

“For now, yes. Set those aside and I’ll get to them later on.” I felt myself sighing as my avatar loaded. “I hate it when they call me that.” I paused a moment. “Wait. That guy from the Velvet Rope room…did he message me?”

“He did,” Jazz said after a moment scanning through my messages. “He said he loved spending the evening with you and hopes you two can do it again some time. Sounds very much like what most others say about you.”

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