Page 81 of Perfect Boy

He seems surprised by my question, but then a grin spreads across his face. “Not one bit,” he says. “You know why?”

“Why?”

“Because, pussy as it might make me, I’d put the pros off forever if it kept me with Tate.” Turning, he holds his hand up and waves. “See you tomorrow, Gentry. Go home and fix your shit.” Getting in his truck, he rolls the window down. “And remember, whatever it is…just say you were wrong and she’s right. Have some make-up sex. Move on.” He shrugs. “Easy-peasy.”

He pulls away, and I lean against my truck. A feeling in my chest tells me whatever is going on with Ryann, it’s not going to be that simple.

Ryann

I move around my room like a zombie. My face feels chapped from crying, but I’ve lathered it with moisturizer in hopes of hiding it from Watson when he gets here. I feel like I’m going to throw up as I gather his stuff up before he gets back from practice. There’s no other answer. There is absolutely nothing I can do to keep him. If I do, we’re both going down. Making him think I don’t want him—it’s the only way we won’t both go down in flames. This way, it’ll just be my ass to the fire. Just like it should be.

When Poppy got the mail today, I had two items in the stack. One, a letter from my mom. The second…the annulment papers. Sent from Officer Hewett himself.

I have yet to read the letter from my mother because, let’s be honest, today sucks enough as it is. No need to pile onto the shitfest.

As I put his things in a neat pile, my bedroom door opens. I don’t turn to look right away, but I don’t need to. I already know it’s him without looking over. I feel it. I feel his gaze. His presence. I even smell his bodywash; the scent that usually makes my mouth water has me wanting to cry.

I’ll miss that smell. So fucking much.

“What the fuck are you doing?” His voice is deep, but more hurt than mad. “What is this? Why is my shit in a pile?”

I need to keep myself together. If I cry, he’ll know that this isn’t what I want.

Of course I don’t want this! I love him.

He’s my person. But if he finds out that I’m doing this strictly to save him, he wouldn’t accept it. He’d go down with me without flinching. That’s who he is, but I refuse to ruin his life. He’s too good of a guy for that. He’s worked his whole life to make his dreams come true. Now that he’s so close, I’ll be damned if I take that from him.

“I’m so sorry.” I look down. “I…we need to talk.”

“Talk about what? The fact that you packed my fucking shit up while I was at practice? You waited for me to kiss you good-bye, and then you went to town, making sure to unravel everything we’ve built?” He steps closer, and there’s no mistaking the pain in his eyes. “What the hell is going on, Ry?”

I know what it’s like to work so hard for something and have it gone in the snap of the fingers. The difference is, he’s actually a good guy. An angel even.

When I don’t answer, he grows frustrated. “Fucking speak, Ryann!” he roars, making me flinch, and I can tell he instantly regrets it. But I don’t blame him for yelling. I’d yell at me too. “Don’t be scared of me, baby. I’d never hurt you. I just don’t understand.”

A tear rolls down my cheek, and my throat burns so badly that it hurts to swallow. “I know you’d never hurt me, Watson. I’ve always known that.”

He waits for more, watching me and anticipating what will come from my lips next. I’m putting him through hell. I hate that I’m putting him through hell.

“This is too much for me.” I force the words out, feeling a stabbing pain in my chest as my heart betrays me. “I’m really sorry to do this, but—” My voice threatens to crack, so I swallow thickly, pushing through. “I need you to take your stuff. To take it…and go.”

“No,” he growls, stepping toward me. “I’m not fucking leaving. I don’t know where this is coming from, but I know it’s not what you want. So, just tell me—what the hell happened between Christmas and now?”

Finding the words in this moment is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. It’s impossible, useless, and exhausting. But for him, I have to do it. I have no choice.

“I just had a change of heart, okay?” I look down at my hands because I can’t look him in the eyes. “I appreciate all you’ve done for me and what you did to save me, but I just can’t let this go on any longer.”

Walking toward my dresser, I open the top drawer and pull the papers out. Stepping toward him, I gently push them toward his hands.

Glaring at me, he eventually snatches the papers from my hand. His face pales as he reads through it. And when he sees my signature at the bottom…his jaw tightens.

“An annulment?” he hisses. “Between Christmas and now, you had annulment papers drawn up?” He holds the papers in the air, his face twisting with pain. “This is bullshit. And guess what. I’m not signing it.” He moves closer to me, just a mere inch from my body, and the anger radiates from him.

Holding the papers in front of my face, he rips them down the center.

“I’m not signing anything. So, it looks like you’re stuck with me till you get your head out of your fucking ass and quit playing games.” His chest heaves. “Just when I think you’re coming around, you pull something like this. And how stupid am I? Because like always, I stand here, unable to let you go.” His hands turn to balls at his sides. “I’m fucking pathetic when it comes to you.”

There’s no single tear coming from my eyes now. No, they all come at once, completely unwelcome. Not just because of how badly everything inside me hurts. But also because I know how much pain I’m causing him. Causing this man who has walked across fire just to be by my side. Who would do just that if I just let him. Over and over, he proves how loyal he is. And I have to hurt him. Like I always do.

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