Page 80 of Perfect Boy

But it doesn’t matter. Because when we get back, I need to cut him loose.

Before he loses everything.

Because losing just me is far better than losing everything he’s worked for.

29

Watson

Ryann and I have only been back home for a day, and something has already shifted. And not in a good way either. I felt it on the way home from my mom’s. Well, to be honest, I felt it a little bit on Christmas Eve after she disappeared to talk to her sister. I guess I tried to push it aside, telling myself I was just being insecure and that everything was perfect.

I should have known with Ryann to never ignore the signs.

I stand under the spray, washing off the sweat of today’s practice, hoping the scorching hot water will ease my aching muscles and melt the negative thoughts away from my brain. Everything in my world now revolves around Ryann. And that’d be fine, but she’s so fucking unpredictable at times.

Even this morning, when she was leaving for dance, I could just sense something was off. And when she hugged me, I felt her sigh, and I swear it was like she was trying to live in that moment a little longer. Almost like…it wasn’t going to happen again.

My back teeth grind together. No, I can’t fucking think that way. We’re past her trying to leave type of shit. I know we are. We aren’t the same couple we were back in Savannah when she was trying to bolt. We’re solid.

I can tell myself that over and over, but my mind won’t stop reeling. Maybe taking her home for Christmas was too much. No, that can’t be it. She played with my niece and nephew. She hung out with my mom and Nora. And her smile? It was a real, honest smile.

Stepping out of the shower, I pull my towel around my waist and head to my locker. Link stands at his, pulling a shirt over his head.

“Well, if it isn’t the married man himself.” He grins. “How’s married life going?”

“It’s, uh…it’s going good.” I toss back, nodding. My voice doesn’t sound nearly as confident as I planned it in my head.

Link picks up on everything. The dude is observant. I guess as our team captain, he has to be.

“Really good.”

Closing his locker, he sits on the bench and pulls his socks and shoes on. “You hesitated.”

“I did not,” I say, quickly shaking my head.

“You did.” He bobs his head up and down. “Don’t worry; I get it. Women are fucking crazy.”

By now, it’s just us in here. He and I stayed back to run over a few things after practice ended, just like we always do. Link is a lot like me, always feeling like he could give more, even when he’s giving well over one hundred percent. He’s never satisfied with his performance. And what an aggravating feeling that is. I’d know.

“It’s just…Ryann is so stubborn sometimes; it drives me crazy. It’s like…just when I think she trusts me, she gets weird and then shuts me out once again.” I blurt the words out, unable to even stop my mouth from spewing them. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this. Sorry, man. I gotta get going.”

Standing, he grabs his duffel, hiking it over his shoulder. “Nah, it’s all good. I understand. Do you know how long of a road it’s been for me and Tate to get to the place we’re at? And trust me, I know stubborn. She literally ran away just because I was a hockey player and she told herself she’d never date an athlete. I get it.” He chuckles lightly before shrugging. “But I also know I’m a pain in her ass. Always have been. But you know when it’s worth it. When you don’t want anyone else even if someone else might be less stressful.”

He laughs harder, shaking his head. “You know, Coach always tells us the things in life that are the hardest often come with the highest level of reward. I don’t know, man. I think he’s onto something. After all, he’s one smart dude.” He hits my shoulder. “If it’s worth it…if she’s worth it…you’ve gotta stick it out. Pain in the ass and all.”

Leaving Ryann has never even crossed my mind. I could never do that. I fucking love the girl. Now, her getting spooked and leaving me? That’s a fear I have every day. At the end of the day, I married her because I wanted to. And knowing that we would never have been in this situation if she hadn’t needed a visa is a hard pill to swallow.

“Thanks, man.” I grab my duffel bag, following Link out of the locker room and toward the exit.

When we get outside, both heading toward our trucks, I stop. “Hey, Sterns?”

“Yeah?” he calls back, tipping his chin up.

“Was it hard for you to put the pros on hold and stay at Brooks another year?”

I’ve always wondered. When it came time for him to go, Tate still had another year in college. One day, he decided the NHL could wait for him because he wasn’t leaving his girl. At the time, I really didn’t get it, and I thought he was one insane motherfucker.

Now, well…now, I think when it comes to Ryann, I’d do the same thing.

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