Page 82 of Perfect Boy

“You have to understand, this just can’t work,” I say as he cups my cheeks, lifting my eyes to meet his. His stare breaks me, making me want to collapse in a pile at his feet, so instead, I squeeze my eyes shut to say what I need to say. “We got married to save me, Watson. But I’m going back to Canada now.” I swallow. “I want to be with my sister. It’s time for me to go home.”

Finally, I pry my eyes open, looking right in his. “Thank you. For being a friend when I needed one. For being patient with me when I didn’t make it easy. For marrying me just so that I could maybe stay here. And for taking me home so that I could meet your family.”

I swallow back another lump in my throat. “I want to go home now. Please respect my wishes.”

“No. I don’t fucking believe you,” he says through gritted teeth. “Don’t shut me out. Just talk to me. For once in your fucking life, Ryann, tell the truth!”

“I guess I didn’t realize you took me for a liar.” I narrow my eyes, pulling away from him.

Stepping around him, I walk to my door and open it wider. “Please, Watson, leave.”

His eyes hold so much pain inside of them. And his body slumps.

I can’t give in. I can’t let him see how much this is fucking killing me.

I didn’t want to sign those annulment papers. And I certainly don’t want to go back home. My sister is happy with how things are with my mom right now, but some things are just hard to repair. And the relationship between my mother and me…just seems unfixable.

“Ryann, please.” This time, his words come from his mouth in a tortured whisper, and when I dare to look at him, I see tears streaming down his cheeks. “Don’t do this. You don’t mean it.”

A man the entire campus sees as tough…I’ve broken. I’ve ruined my husband.

Wiping my own tears with my sleeve, I suck in a breath. “I’m so sorry, but I do.” It comes out as more of a squeak. “Leave. Or I will.”

And then he does something that I know I pushed for, but it hurts as much as I imagine burning in hell for eternity would.

He grabs his things …

And he leaves.

Walking out of my room and halfway down the hall, he turns slightly, glancing over his shoulder. “I’m not signing anything. So, I guess you’ll need to lawyer up.” The words come out so cold.

And then he disappears, slamming the front door behind him.

I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe, and everything hurts. And I feel like I might die. Even though I know it’s impossible to actually die from a broken heart, right now, it feels very possible that it could happen to me.

I cry. Uncontrollable sobs rip through my body, and my entire face is soaked with salty tears.

What is this kind of pain? I’ve never felt it before.

My door creaks open, but I don’t even look up to see who it is. I keep my face buried in my pillow, dragging in shaky breaths that don’t fill my lungs.

The bed shifts with weight, and I feel a small hand on my back.

“I saw Watson leave. If you want to talk, I’m here.” Sutton’s voice is soft. So soft that I barely hear her. “And if you don’t…I’m still going to be right here.”

That only makes me hyperventilate more. I sniffle and try to calm myself down, but nothing works. This is the most impossible situation. But this is the only solution.

Love isn’t supposed to be selfish. Ever. And yet, until this very moment, selfish is all I was.

“I—can’t…breathe,” I cry, my chest heaving and my lips trembling. “I can’t breathe, Sutton.”

“Shh,” she says, running her hand over my hair, then brushing the strands stuck to my soaked cheeks away from my face. “Slow, deep breaths, okay? In through your nose, out through your mouth.”

I do my best to focus on what she’s telling me to do. Listening to her and doing what she says to calm myself down. I have no idea how long it takes for me to be able to form a thought, but when I finally do, I know I need to tell her the truth. She’s my best friend, and I need her to know I’m not leaving her just for the hell of it. That, in this case, I don’t have a choice.

“It was the only way,” my voice rasps. “Making him leave…doing what I had to do. It was the only thing I could do,” I whimper. “To save him.”

“What do you mean, Ry?” She keeps her voice soft, though I can hear the confusion in it. “Why was kicking him out the only way?”

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