Page 47 of When You Smile

He stood and walked a few paces away, hands on his hips. He was processing. She knew him well enough to recognize his cues.

“I’m sorry.” It was all she had.

“You’re sorry and you want me to forgive you, or you’re sorry and you want to kiss this Taryn girl some more?” His eyes held hurt, not anger.

“Please don’t say it that way.”

He whirled around. “Fuck me. You’re serious?” He shook his head because she hadn’t reassured him. “You want to pursue something with her?” He had clearly not been expecting it to go that way. No one turned Danny down for anything, a stranger to rejection in all its forms.

“Maybe. I have real feelings that I’ve tried to ignore, and that seems to have made them stronger.”

Danny took a breath, softened, and came to sit next to her again. “I get it. I’ve had the same feelings here and there, but you know what? It’s just the pressure of all that’s ahead. We’re about to start life with all of its huge, suffocating demands, and it’s easier to just fixate on something else.”

He was explaining things to her as if she wasn’t someone who could navigate this situation on her own, and it was exactly the behavior that had made it hard for her to breathe the past few years.

“Please don’t minimize the way I’m feeling.”

He nodded. “I apologize. I just think if you take a step back, you’ll see that this is a wild hair that you will likely regret in six months. We’re good, Char. You and I make sense. We’re writers who see the world through a similar lens.” He exhaled. “And it’s what your mother wanted for you.”

Low blow. She closed her eyes, shocked that he’d gone there. The pain slashed through her, nevertheless. Her mother’s memory was a soft spot for her, and living in a way that would make her mom proud was her most important goal. And he knew that.

“I’m just doing the best I can,” she said, emotion grabbing her throat, making words difficult. “But I owe it to myself to find me. Find my happiness. She would want that, too.”

He stood, nodding. “What if I’m not here when you come to your senses?”

“It’s a risk I have to take.”

His hands went into his pockets and his gaze locked on hers. “Perfect. I guess I’ll see you in class.”

“Danny.”

Her turned around slow, hands still in pockets, chin tilted back. There were so many things she could say in this moment to smooth things over, to give him hope, or to explain herself further. “What about your mom?”

“Don’t tell her. She had a busy month, and this would break her heart.”

Charlie nodded. It was a request she could grant if it would make this any easier on him. “Understood. I’ll follow your lead.”

He hesitated. “You sure you want to do this?” His eyes were soft, and it broke her heart. They’d had some good times together, and this felt like the end of an important era. She wasn’t good with endings. In fact, she hated them.

“I have to, Danny.”

“Gotcha.” He offered one affirmative nod and rounded the corner to the parking lot, not looking back.

Now alone, and reeling, Charlie didn’t move. She let the sadness, the fear, and the guilt wash over her. In a few minutes, she’d wipe her tears and think about what was next. But first, she needed to let herself come to terms with good-bye, not just for her relationship with Danny but for the person she no longer was. As she sat on those steps hugging her knees to her chest, she watched the sun sink in the sky, bursting into vibrant pinks, purples, and oranges in one of the more gorgeous displays she could remember experiencing. It was a stunning transition that resonated with her on such a personal level that it sent an uncomfortable lump to her throat and brought happy tears to her eyes.

Because no. She shouldn’t just be grieving. She should also be celebrating the excitement of what might lie ahead. This very easily could be the first step in the rest of her ridiculously happy life, and she should mark it appropriately.

If this was a new chapter for Charlie, she wanted to give it all the effort and attention it deserved. She was both terrified and excited, and that was okay. But one thing she wasn’t going to be was closed off or untrue to herself. That stopped now.

She stood, wiped her tears, and gave herself a small squeeze as the sun continued to show off its sky-painting ability. “And here we go,” she said quietly.

Chapter Eleven

Taryn hadn’t heard from Charlie in the three days since they’d turned her world upside down with that kiss. She’d given Charlie the space to sort things out on her own, but the suspense of what decision she would come to had been nearly unbearable, sabotaging her ability to focus, and making getting any sort of reading assignment done laughable.

She’d gone to a party and taken it much easier on the alcohol this time. Didn’t mean she hadn’t checked her phone every eight minutes just in case she’d missed a notification. Charlie sure must be struggling if she hadn’t reached out once after they’d established a pattern of texting throughout their days. Or worse, she wasn’t. The silence was loud as hell.

Across the room, Sasha danced with a girl from their dorm, who just might be the one from the vending machine. She’d mentioned running into her again and asking for her number. Well, that was very nice for Sasha. Taryn was feeling a little bit like joining the Love Bites club herself. She took a pull from her beer, opting to never drink trash can punch again.

---