Page 40 of When You Smile

Taryn decided to just be honest. Charlie had a lot more relationship experience than she did and could maybe offer some helpful advice for navigating confusing waters. “Good, with a question mark sidecar.”

“Interesting response. What’s the question mark?”

“So, I went to the shoot last week, which was awesome and educational and all you would expect. Blah, blah, blah.”

“The blahs are noted. You say them nicely.”

“Thank you.”

“Now to the mysterious sidecar.”

Taryn sat up straighter, searching for the most effective way to describe what had happened. She had nothing creative or cute, so she just went for it. “Then we kissed.”

“Oh.”

“Well, clarification. She kissed me, but I definitely participated.” As she spoke, Charlie’s smile seemed to freeze in place, becoming a lifeless placeholder of what Taryn knew her true smile to be. Nervous now, Taryn described the scenario in more depth, probably providing too much detail. Charlie nodded. But again, the action seemed mechanical at best, as if Charlie was going through the motions of things a good listener would do. There was an indifferent glaze coating her features that left Taryn on edge. Should she not have shared any of this? Was this because Ashley was female? A feeling of dread trudged over her because she wasn’t sure she could handle homophobia from her favorite person. “So I’m not really sure where we stand. Should I ask or just leave things as they are?”

Charlie took a moment. She nodded again, this time absorbing. “I think that depends on what you want out of it. Do you have feelings for her?”

“I mean, no. We don’t know each other well.”

Charlie’s mouth made the shape of a small oh. “But you’re attracted to her.”

“She’s definitely attractive. Not someone I would have instantly been drawn to, but there’s something about her that’s interesting. She’s more confident than I am.”

“I’ve always thought of you as very confident.” The trees caught a breeze, and the branches swayed above them, jostling each other in their tangle. Taryn watched the way a strand of hair blew over Charlie’s eyes, and Charlie casually brushed it away. Even her everyday gestures had a way of captivating.

“Then I’m doing my job well. But no, Ashley is all sharp edges and charisma. She comes to play. I’m more the reserved wallflower.”

“You’re reserved, but if anyone doesn’t notice you, that’s on them. You stand out, Taryn. Stop telling yourself that you don’t.”

She felt the corners of her mouth tug in happiness. Hearing that Charlie thought so was everything.

“I think flashy people sometimes seek out the less flashy. Maybe she saw that in me, or maybe she really just wanted to kiss someone and it’ll never happen again. We’re gonna grab dinner in a couple of days.”

Charlie stared down, thumbing the blades of grass beyond the blanket.

“Are you okay?” Taryn asked. She seemed more and more pulled into herself with each moment that ticked by. The playful and bold Charlie from earlier was nowhere to be found. She missed her already.

“Do you mind if we head out? I’m starting to not feel so good.”

Taryn widened her eyes, feeling guilty now. “I don’t mind at all. Here. Let me grab the blanket and your bag. I’ll walk them to your car.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Charlie said softly, pushing herself to standing.

“Well, I’m going to.” She picked up the blanket with the intention of folding it.

“Here. I can do it,” Charlie said, reaching for the corner.

Taryn held tight. “What are you doing? Stop that. I got this.”

But Charlie didn’t. She actually ripped the blanket out of Taryn’s hands and begin folding it herself without a word. Taryn watched in surprise, unsure what had prompted the move. But Charlie focused fully on her task without raising her gaze at all. In fact, it felt like she was purposefully avoiding Taryn and any and all eye contact.

“What just happened?” Taryn asked quietly.

Charlie’s beautiful hands went still and Taryn was wildly aware of her heart beating double-time. “I don’t know,” Charlie said. “I’m working that out, and I don’t think I can talk about it right now. I hope you understand.”

Taryn nodded. “I do. I think. That’s all right.” She looked around, searching for the right words to say to move them out of this awkward moment and noticed that the copper quality of the afternoon had evaporated right along with their mood. Taryn felt guilty about anything she’d done to land them here, although she had no idea what that could be. In fact, nothing seemed to fit. She’d asked a friend for advice. Yet, the information that Taryn had kissed someone seemed to have upset Charlie. She went still. Because, no. There was no way in hell that Charlie was jealous. Impossible. Not eligible for the list of possibilities. Then again, she’d balked at the thought of Charlie flirting earlier. And now she was shoving away the idea that Charlie was jealous. What if she was wrong on both counts? Taryn placed a palm on her forehead as if searching for life’s answer.

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