Page 110 of Every Beat of My Heart

“I know that,” I said, frustration leaking into my tone.

Teddy plated the fried eggs and passed them to me. “Eat that. Then get some sleep. You can’t figure anything out on an empty stomach and no sleep.”

“No kidding,” I said as I dug into the eggs. “Thanks for breakfast.”

“That’s what we’re here for,” Teddy said, his voice smug.

“Unwarranted advice before I’ve had a chance to sleep?” I asked stubbornly.

“That’s the best kind,” Teddy quipped.

“I’ll figure this out.”

“We like Claire and Owen,” Dad said.”

“I do too.” I swallowed over the lump in my throat, the realization that I acted like a hurt teenager, one who lashed out when things got bad instead of figuring out my problems. I should have gone to Claire for support, not pulled away, thinking I could handle it on my own.

“Call us if you need us,” Teddy said over his shoulder as they headed out.

I hoped I wouldn’t need their advice again. I loved them, but I hated talking about stuff like this. I wanted to go to Claire when I was going through a difficult time. I didn’t want to be the permanent bachelor living above his dad’s garage.

I needed my own place. But first, I needed sleep.

I finished the eggs, rinsed the plate, and put it in the dishwasher. Then I dove into bed where the sheets were still rumpled from the last time I tried to sleep. I hoped today would be different. I needed my wits about me if I was going to figure this out and set things right with Claire.

There were no guarantees that she’d accept my apology and take me back. Claire was a strong woman who knew how she deserved to be treated. She might not give me a second chance.

The thought of never seeing her and Owen again sent a sharp, searing pain through my chest cavity. I rubbed the offending spot, attempting to draw in a deep breath.

I tossed and turned before finally drifting off. I dreamed of talking to Claire, of trying to explain why I’d acted like an idiot, but each time, she shook her head and said she was done with me. She walked away, and I chased after her, begging for her to give me another chance.

By the time I woke up it was early afternoon, my head ached, and I felt like I hadn’t gotten any appreciable rest. The sun poured through the closed curtains, despite my melancholy mood.

I forced myself to get up, knowing from experience that lazing around in bed didn’t help with the tired feeling. I showered, got dressed, then cleaned my apartment.

Then I thought long and hard about whether I wanted to buy a house or build one on the family’s property.

I shouldn’t make the decision with Claire and Owen in mind, but what would they like? Would they appreciate living on the farm? Would they want to move in with me eventually? Or was I kidding myself? Did my subconscious already know what my conscious didn’t? Claire would never forgive me, and I was doomed to feel this hollow sensation in my chest forever.

CHAPTER 24

CLAIRE

Later that week, the article hit the paper, and everyone was talking about what happened to Jameson. I hoped he wasn’t angry that I’d gone to a reporter and the administration. I was trying to help, not make things worse. Now I wasn’t so sure. Maybe he didn’t want everyone to know what happened.

I kept checking my phone, but there were no messages from him. I hadn’t talked to him since that night he’d pushed me away.

Owen was upset too. He liked the new coach but missed Jameson. I tried to explain that Jameson was just processing what happened, and I was sure he’d talk to us when he was ready.

That’s why Jameson pushed me away when I wanted to help. He was so used to internalizing everything, protecting himself from what everyone else thought about him. I just hoped he’d see things another way.

At the end of the day, I left the school with a heavy heart. It was Owen’s night to work at the farm, and I wasn’t sure I could go there. It hurt too much to think about what might have been with Jameson.

I was surprised to see Teddy leaning against the driver’s side door of my car in the school’s parking lot.

I shielded the sun with my hand. “What are you doing here?”

He straightened. “I wanted to make sure you were bringing Owen by tonight.”

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