Page 24 of Van

“What are you doin’ out here?”

“I was just looking for you.”

“I should have told you to stay inside. This is my fault,” he says, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry.”

“Fuck this shit, Van! Deal with your girl. I got Reggie,” Mask tells him.

“Fuck that. I got him. He’s mine,” Van growls before pulling his hand away from me and shoving me back inside. I step back inside when Nicole walks over with a wet rag and wipes the blood from my face.

“They do this a lot?”

“Not here, they don’t.” Then I hear a single gunshot. I know he did it. Van just shot Reggie, and something inside of me breaks. Tears spring to my eyes before I rush out of the room and down the hall. I should leave. I should pack my shit and get the hell out of here. In fact, I’m thinking about it when the door opens, and Van enters. He eyes me, not saying a word before walking into the bathroom and washing his hands. When he comes back out, he’s clean, but I’m shaken.

“You had to know we do shit, Chy.”

“I …”

“Don’t leave me,” he begs, and my heart cracks.

“I don’t know what to say to you.”

“Don’t say anything. I have to handle club issues, Chyanne. That’s all that was. He was stealin’ from the club,” he tells me. Does that make it okay? The fact that the man I just slept with shot and killed someone? I can’t think straight. I don’t know what to think.

“Don’t think anything. This is my life. This club is my life.”

“So you just go around killing people?”

“It’s not like that. I don’t kill without reason, Chy.” I run my hand through my hair as I watch him in front of me. I can see the sincereness in his eyes, and I know he doesn’t know what else to say to me.

“I slept with you. A killer,” I tell him.

“Don’t look at me like that. Don’t look at me like a killer.”

“But you are,” I remind him.

“No. I do what I need to do.” He does what he needs to do. I don’t know how to react to that. What do I say? What do I do? It would be so easy to just walk out of here and say fuck this, but where would I go? I have a little saved I could use for a hotel if I need to, but that money isn’t going to last long, and I can’t take all the baby stuff with me. What do I do?

Van steps toward me, resting his hand on my stomach before he speaks.

“I’ve been thinkin’ about this. About all of this.”

“And what do you think?”

“That maybe a baby won’t be so bad.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I want you, Chy. I don’t want to lose you over this,” he confesses. I don’t know what to say. He just killed a man. I shouldn’t even want a man who is capable of something like that.

“I don’t know if I can do this, Van. I have a baby to think about,” I tell him truthfully.

“You think I’d hurt the baby?” he asks, looking unsure of what I’m saying.

“Of course not, but we barely know each other, Van. This isn’t … I don’t know what to say here,” I tell him.

“Say you’ll stay.”

---