Page 46 of Laid Bear

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Zora kept herself busy for the next four days. Logan, Gavin and Heath had collectively decided she needed to stay home from work so she threw herself into her redecorating project, anything to keep her mind off what happened and who now resided in one of the guest bedrooms. She still refused to look in on her mother, not asking once how she was doing.

She held up one swatch and then another, holding them against the light to compare. Zora sensed the moment she was no longer alone in the room.

“Hey, Gavin. I thought you were going into the office this morning.” The connection between her and her men was so strong she could sense each one separately. So she knew Logan and Heath were with him.

They were all supposed to be at work. She knew what they wanted. They had, in fact, brought the subject up quite a bit within the last few days. She refused to let them stonewall her. She stood up, pasting a smile on her face, and turned to face them. “I’m glad you’re all here. I think I’ve narrowed down which colors I’d like to have the study painted. I think it would look nice in cranberry or forest green. What do you guys think?” She held up the swatches.

Gavin stepped forward. “Zora, can we talk for a minute? Logan, Heath and I have been talking and we think—”

“You know what? These might be too bold. Maybe we should go for a more cheerful color. Royal blue? That’s soothing.” She went on as if he hadn’t spoken.

Heath crossed the room to stand in front of her. “Zora, would you stop a minute and listen to us, please?”

She turned her back to him and looked at the wall with as much concentration as the situation would allow. “Or maybe I can nix the paint altogether and look at wallpaper? It’s a little retro but I hear its making a comeback.”

“Zora!” Logan practically roared as he strode over and pulled her around to face him. “We don’t give a shit about what goddamn color you paint the study. But we love you and you need to listen to this.”

She pulled herself out of his grasp. “I know what you’re going to say and I don’t want to hear it.”

“You need to hear this, Zora,” Gavin rebutted. “You have the right to feel angry for how you were treated, heaven knows that woman has a lot to answer for, but for what it’s worth, I don’t believe she had anything to do with what your father tried to do to you. We know you’re hurting, even if you want to pretend she’s not here. We feel it just as deeply as if the emotions were our own and it’s killing us we can’t do anything about it. But you can do something about this. You should go in and talk to her, that’s all. No one is asking you to kiss and make up. She asked about you, but she’s too ashamed to ask for you to see her directly. We can’t make you see her, but at least think about. We love you so much and we don’t want you to keep hurting. You’re never going to heal if you don’t face her.”

Tears stung the backs of her eyes as she relived the pain of her childhood. The loneliness and shame. She thought of all the years wondering what it was about her that made her so unlovable. What was it about her that had earned their disdain? And why did her father try to kill her?

She bowed her head in defeat. “You know, when you told me she was alive, I had every intention of confronting her, but I kept making excuses and putting it off until I talked myself out of it.”

“Why?” Heath asked softly.

“Because I’m scared. I guess I don’t want to hear her say she wished I was never born. I’ll never forget when she said that to me. I thought I got over my past but after what happened with my father, I know I haven’t. I don’t know if I can do this.”

“We’ll be here for you,” Gavin assured her.

“Will you guys come with me? I don’t want to see her by myself.”

“Are you sure?” Logan asked.

“There’s nothing she can say to me that she can’t say in front of you guys. Please. I need your support.”

“Of course.” Heath nodded. “When would you like to see her?”

“Now. If I don’t do it right away, I’m going to lose my nerve.”

Logan placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her out of the room. “Okay, let’s go.”

Zora stood outside the guest bedroom door, trying to build up her courage to go in.

Gavin placed his hand on her shoulder in support. “You don’t have to do this now if you don’t want to.”

“No. I can do this. I’m going in.” Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door and waited for a response.

“Come in.” If she wasn’t listening, she would have barely heard it.

She opened the door and slowly walked into the room. Once inside, she zoned in on the figure reclining in the bed. She gasped. It had been years since she’d seen her mother. Gavin had warned her of the bruising she’d see, but it wasn’t the injuries that shocked Zora. Time had not been kind to her mother. Her hair was almost completely white and there were heavy stress lines around her eyes and mouth, giving her the appearance of a much older woman.

“Zora?” her mother asked in a voice that sounded hoarse and broken.

Logan grabbed a chair from the corner of the room and set it beside the bed for Zora to sit. She smiled at him gratefully. Zora reluctantly returned her attention to her mother. “How are you feeling?” she asked, to be polite.

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