Page 47 of Laid Bear

“I’ve been better. That hairstyle really suits you. You’ve always been a pretty girl, but now…”

“I’m sure you didn’t want to see me to compliment my hair. What did you want to see me about?”

Her mother looked away and released a heavy sigh. “I don’t really know where to begin, Zora. I owe you so many apologies that they probably won’t mean squat to you.”

Out of everything she was expecting, a repentant mother was not one of them. Zora shifted in her chair uncomfortably. “Umm…”

“You don’t have to forgive me, Lord knows I don’t deserve it. I’ve forsaken everything that mattered to me, my mother, you and…your father. Uh, Darren, the man who raised you…he wasn’t your biological father.”

She stiffened, not knowing how to react. Zora digested the information, trying to figure out how she felt. She was neither happy nor sad. So many things that hadn’t made sense growing up suddenly did. She didn’t favor him or any of his relatives. She felt no visceral connection. And the little comments he made toward her came back. He’d called her a little bastard on a several occasions, but she thought he was just being his unfeeling self. And then there was Heath’s bizarre comment a few days ago in the woods when he implied he wasn’t her father. How did he know?

She turned to him. “Heath, you knew?”

Heath was leaning against the wall and stepped forward. “I shouldn’t have dropped it on you in the heat of the moment like that. I already surmised you believed him to be your father, but the scents didn’t match. We all have our own unique scent and often we can sniff out a familiar connection even if it’s faint. There was nothing. Not like there is between you and your mother. I figured it out then.”

“I see.” She nodded, accepting his explanation. She turned back to her mother’s downcast eyes.

“Who is my real father?”

Tears misted in Rayna’s eyes. She clutched her chest as if she were having pains. “A good man. I just wish I had been brave enough to take the chance like I see you have.” She looked past Zora to Logan, Heath and Gavin.

Zora shook her head in confusion. “I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me.”

“I think I need to give you a little bit of background. I never knew who my father was. Your grandmother told me hardly anything about him. Apparently it was a great source of pain to her, but what I did get out of her was that they had a brief fling. He’d told her she was his mate or something of that nature. I didn’t really think too much of her odd choice of words, but there you have it. I think I was always starved for a father’s love so I sought it out in ways that I’m ashamed to admit. But through it all, Darren was around. He was a sweet boy, or so I thought. He was there through every break up, giving me a shoulder to cry on and offering me his friendship. Then I met Calvin Wanamaker. He was tall, broad and just beautiful. I think I fell in love with him instantly. I knew right away that all those other guys didn’t mean a thing. And even when I told him about them he didn’t care.” A tear slid down her mother’s face. She hastily wiped it away.

Zora remained silent, waiting for her mother to finish.

“We got serious, then he mentioned something that threw me for a loop. He wanted me to meet his brothers. Calvin said it was important that I like them. I thought nothing of it until he introduced me to them and…well, then he told me they were descended from the Kelowna. They told me I was their mate. It brought back to mind what my mother said. Even though I felt a pull to his brothers, I didn’t believe them. And then they showed me. They turned into bears! I…your men…they’re bears, aren’t they?”

Zora looked behind her to gauge her men’s reactions. Their expressions remained passive. She turned back to her mother. “Yes.”

Rayna nodded. “Thought so. Those are some big boys.” She chuckled to herself. But just as quickly, her expression turned grave. “Unlike you, I didn’t handle it well. I panicked and ran back to Darren. I needed his friendship and I told him everything, taking a risk that he’d think I wasn’t crazy. He believed me. Calvin and his brothers came looking for me, but I couldn’t face them. I was too much of a coward.”

Zora’s mother turned her head away. “A few weeks passed and I realized I was pregnant. I couldn’t tell my mother because I knew she’d be so disappointed. She wanted so much more for me than to bear a child out of wedlock. So I decided to go to Calvin, only to find he and his brothers had gone missing. Just like that. I couldn’t understand. I was frantic. Not only was I pregnant, but I’d lost the love of my life. And Darren…he was there. He offered to marry me as a way out, and coward that I was, I accepted. I felt love for him but I wasn’t in love with him. He seemed to accept that. My mother never liked him and I couldn’t understand why, but I soon learned after I married him.”

Tears fell freely down Rayna’s cheeks now, but she didn’t bother to wipe them away.

“Darren was sweet in the beginning, but I think it started to get to him how I couldn’t love him the way he thought I eventually would. He started going to church more. He became almost fanatical and he got verbally abusive. I hadn’t finished college and didn’t have skills and I had you to think about. So I took it. And when you were old enough to understand what was going on, he became fixated on you. He’d throw my indiscretions back at me. He beat me down mentally so by the time he hit me physically, I was already an emotional wreck. Oh, he never did it with any witnesses and he always made sure he hit me in a place where the bruise could easily be covered. The only time he threatened to hurt you was when I would show affection to you. He hated me giving attention to anyone. So I, please forgive me Zora, but I shut you out. I thought I was doing the right thing by you, but I know now I made a terrible mistake. I know I was cold toward you at times, but in my mind I thought I was protecting you. Not long before you left for college, I noticed him looking at you in a way that wasn’t right. I was worried he might touch you. I caught him watching you in the bathroom. It was one of the few times I stood up to him. He beat me pretty bad after that.”

Zora gasped in horror. How had she not noticed? She’d been so wrapped up in her own pain she hadn’t recognized her mother’s. “Oh, Mom.” For the first time, she reached out and grabbed her mother’s hand. “I didn’t know.”

“There was no way you would. He was very careful to hide his true nature.”

“Not really. He’d call me names and treat me like crap. Didn’t you see that?”

Rayna squeezed her eyes shut. “I did, but in my mind I thought things would be okay as long as he didn’t touch you. I was so glad when you left because I felt you would be safe. Shortly after our last talk, he joined a church that was by anyone’s standards strict. He became even more of a zealot and he started saying crazy things, especially about you. He wanted to bring you back and teach you the right way. Sometimes it was like he was speaking to no one at all. When we found out what happened with you and that boy, he kind of just snapped. He was already slipping into another reality, but he felt you had betrayed him. He claimed he’d find you and bring you back.

“By this time, I knew I had to leave but each time I tried, he’d find me. It was only recently we discovered you were staying with my mom. And that’s another regret I have. He basically destroyed the relationship I had with her. I didn’t get to attend her funeral. You bore that alone. I can’t apologize enough, Zora.”

“It’s okay. The rest I can pretty much fill in for myself. He found me and he planned on handling me.”

“Yes.” Rayna nodded. “He went after me first. Told me he was going to send me to hell with those three bastards and then he’d take care of my whore daughter. That’s when I realized he had something to do with Calvin and his brothers’ disappearances. I could never prove it, but he basically admitted it. He said he went hunting. I think I lost it then. For the first time I fought him and he beat me and locked me in the trunk. I don’t know how long I was there. A few days had passed. The next thing I knew, your guys saved me and I’m here.”

“I see.”

“Do you?” Rayna asked. “I know I have no right to ask your forgiveness, but maybe one day you’ll let me get to know you as a mother should know her daughter?”

Zora chose her words before finally answering. “Honestly, I don’t know. I’ve had to deal with this pain all my life and I feel so much resentment toward you for not being my mom. You told me you wished I was never born.”

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