Page 7 of Myself

“Don’t apologize, baby,” he says, letting out a long breath.

Baby? I melt at the word and then hold my breath as he runs his thumb over my bottom lip. I close my eyes as I try to calm my racing heart when I feel his lips on mine.

I gasp, and it causes him to kiss me deeper. I’ve only ever kissed Conner. He’s a good kisser, sometimes a little messy, but for the most part, it leaves me wanting something more. Jaycent is that more.

His lips are slick and soft as they work with mine. He takes my breath away as he presses me into the wall. His hand on my hip grips me tightly, and I moan as I press my hips into his. Rip them off! my mind screams.

He moans into my mouth, and he tilts his head to the side as my hands grow frantic on his back. My body tingles, my mind cloudy, and my skin heats up. I pull away, sucking in a breath. “I want more,” I say breathlessly. “I want you. All of you,” I say in a rush. My hands go to the zipper of his pants.

I groan in disappointment when his hands let go of my thigh and my hair to wrap around my wrists. He’s panting as he stares down at me. “Becca ... we... I...” He takes a step back from me, letting my hands go. They fall to my side like cinderblocks. “Can’t,” he says, running a hand through his hair. Then he turns around and walks out, shutting the door behind him. Leaving me right where he found me. Crying and alone.

I snap out of that memory and look at my brother. “So ...” I clear my throat. What have they been talking about?

Jaycent interrupts me as he looks at Ryder. He is obviously unaffected by anything I have to say or do. Just being this close to him has my mind focused on my eighteenth birthday. And that we had slept together six months later. Things were never the same between us after that kiss. He seemed to stay away from me, and I seemed to long for him more than before. “Come on. I wanna know who she was? Gonna meet up with her later?” He wiggles his eyebrows.

I stare at Ashlyn, trying to figure out what is going on when she takes in a deep breath. “Let me get you up to speed.” Jaycent looks at my brother. I wish he would look at me again. “I was the one who Ryder slept with last night.” His eyes widen, and his eyebrows shoot to his hairline. “We had no idea who the other was. And well, you know the rest.”

“Oh.” He draws out the two letters.

Ryder nods and then crams a piece of pancake in his mouth.

“So what are our plans today?” I ask before we get into any more sex talk. I plaster a fake smile on my face.

Ashlyn is the only one who answers me. “I don’t know about all of you, but I am going back up to the room and taking a very long afternoon nap.”

“Long night?” Ryder asks, the corner of his lips curling slowly.

I don’t want to watch them flirt, so my eyes drop down to my plate, and I push my uneaten food around. My eggs drowning in the ketchup.

“What have you been up to, Becca?”

My head snaps up to look at Jaycent. A blush spreads across my face before I can stop it. “Just work and school,” I respond, trying not to sound winded.

“Congratulations on graduation, by the way,” he says with a smile that makes my heart skip a beat.

“Thank you. I’m so ready to get back to New York,” I say before taking a drink. My mouth feels dry all of a sudden.

His light brown eyes light up with excitement. “You coming home for the summer?”

My eyes shoot to my brother. “You haven’t told him?” Of course, he hasn’t. Why would he tell his best friend that I was moving back? He doesn’t know that I’ve been in love with his best friend.

“Told me what?” Jaycent also asks, turning to face him.

“I told you, dude,” Ryder answers. “She’s moving back to New York after graduation.” Jaycent shakes his head quickly. “Yes, I did. I told you the moment she told me. We were at your house. Some chick was over.” He waves a hand in the air as if her name isn’t that important.

My chest tightens at the thought of him with a woman. But that’s me being selfish. I have Conner. Of course, Jaycent has women. A man like that takes the women who throw themselves at him. I was one of those.

“Oh,” Jaycent says softly then looks back at me. And I think I hear the excitement in his voice. “Well, that’s awesome!”

I just nod my head at him, not knowing what to say, because his tone doesn't match his words. He probably wishes I would just stay in Seattle.

“Conner’s here,” my brother announces to him, and my stomach drops. Conner is mad at me. It’s just one more thing to have to worry about.

His shoulders tense, and his mouth sets in a hard line. “What? Why?” Jaycent demands.

Ryder shrugs a shoulder. “They’re back together,” he admits grimly.

Jaycent shakes his head before grabbing a piece of bacon off Ryder’s plate, obviously not having much to say on that matter.

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