Page 82 of Sinful Touch

“Break Into My Heart” by Daughtry

As I make my way through the house, it is quiet—a little too quiet. The silence still makes me uncomfortable, and I am still trying to break this habit.

My agent says my going to prison to protect the woman I love has made my sales go through the roof. He wants me to go back on tour, but the thought of leaving Lil right now is not something I am willing to do.

Her agent has asked her to combine our tours, and she said yes, but I can tell she isn't ready to leave our home just yet, and until she is, we will be staying here. The fans, books, all of it will still be there; they aren't going anywhere.

I will not force her to do anything she doesn’t want to do, she is the one who is in control, and I will continue to remind her of that fact.

I have been keeping tabs on Little Chad; from what I have heard, he is being treated well. He has tried to overturn his conviction more times than I can count, but once the judge sees the pictures and the evidence of what he did to Lil, they turn him down. They say he is a danger to society, and I agree.

I know what he would do if he were released. He would go after her, not because he loves her, but because now he is obsessed with making me pay. Lil and I destroyed his life, or at least that is what he said in court, but the truth is he tried to destroy our lives, and in the end, he lost.

I am grateful to the courts and the men who worked on her case. As far as I know, he will be spending the rest of his life in prison, being taught what happens when you hurt a woman.

There were times when I was in prison that I thought about going into his cell and just ending him right there, but that would have been too fucking easy. I visited Chad in his cell and made sure to remind him that I was close by, they put him in protective custody after a while though, so I wasn’t able to get back to him, but my friends were.

I never knew how popular my books were in prison until I went to prison. I have fans everywhere, fans who can’t stand men who hurt women.

Killing him would have been mercy, and he doesn’t deserve mercy, he doesn’t deserve anything that would make things easier on him. No, he fucking deserves to rot in prison, he deserves to have to live with what he has done, and I have made sure that he is reminded of his crimes every single second of every fucking day.

Until the day he dies, he will be reminded of what he has done.

I take in a deep breath as I grab my jacket and slip it on, I open the back door and step out.

The trees and grass are covered in snow. The sky is filled with clouds. It is going to snow soon again.

I scan the yard and stop when I see Lil sitting on a bench in front of the pond. She is wearing her warm hat and, from what I can tell, the jacket I bought her for Christmas.

Chad might have burned down our lake house, but we were able to rebuild once I got out of prison.

Lil was able to put her special touch on everything, and now when I walk around our house, she is everywhere, reminding me that I still don't deserve her and that I am still earning her love every day.

Most women would have probably walked away once I went to prison, but she chose to stay by my side, and she refused to walk away. For that, I will always be grateful. She saved me, and I have saved her.

Things have not always been like this, when I got out of prison I found my wife bloody on the bathroom floor, it was touch and go for a while and I thought I was going to lose her. But I didn’t, she survived, she is a survivor. I will never be able to get that image out of my head, though. I came home from meeting with my PO, and I found her almost dead on the bathroom floor.

She thought there was no way out from the negative thoughts inside her head, she thought I would be better off without her, but she was wrong. I can’t live without her, if she had died that day I would have died beside her.

I slowly make my way across the grass and stop behind her, she is resting her hands on her growing stomach, for the longest time she thought she couldn’t have children because of the beating she got from Chad, but 4 months ago we were told she was pregnant with my child.

I can’t even explain into words the emotions I felt as I kneeled in front of her and looked into her tear-filled eyes.

I slowly make my way around my wife and kneel beside her.

I rest my hand on top of hers and look down at the pond, it is iced over, the snow blanketing all of it, making sit so fucking beautiful.

I turn and look at Lil. She is now watching me, always watching me. She looks at me as if I am going to disappear, but I am not going anywhere.

“You here with me, Darlin,” I ask calmly, making sure that her thoughts are not taking her to a place I can’t follow.

She nods and smiles “Yes, I am here.”

“How are we feeling today,” I ask, looking down at her growing stomach.

“We are going good, Jax,” She says softly.

“I am right here, Lil, and I am not going anywhere,” I confess, looking from her stomach back to her eyes.

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