Page 75 of Controlled

“What the fuck, boss?” He pressed his hand over his heart, narrowing his eyes from the sight of me. “You don’t look so hot. Did something happen?”

I finally palmed my face, wiping sweat away, the clammy feeling remaining. “A memory.”

“Ah, shit. What can I do?”

“Tell me you fucking found Armand Marcello. I need to spill some blood.”

“I think someone beat you to it, boss.”

“What the hell does that mean? I’m not in the mood for goddamn riddles.” Shit. I didn’t have my other crutch here, my fucking punching bag.

Kane threw his hand out as if I was going to punch him. “Sorry, boss. I just meant the man isn’t there, at least not in the quick sweep Mark and Christen did. Both were too fucking nervous the cops were going to arrive at any minute.”

“Why?” My throat was tight, as if I was that young man before, doing anything I could not to issue a single sound for fear of being beaten for a second or third time.

“The place was tore up bad. Plus, a fuck load of blood too.”

I snorted. “Maybe he went out to celebrate a recent kill.”

“That ain’t like him, at least not from what I learned about the man. He was called Mr. Clean because of the way he’d killed in the past. I don’t see it changing.”

“Yeah, well, prison can change a man.” So could nightmares.

“Not to contradict you, boss, but I have a sense something happened to the man, maybe an old enemy settling a score. Rumors on the street speak to the fact the Irish mob, the Bratva, and hell, the Mexicans aren’t too happy he’s back in town. I heard he made waves.”

More beads of sweat rolled down the back of my neck and I swatted at them like a fly. “Fuck. This shit is getting out of hand. Put out word to the informants I want information. Stat. Do you get me?”

“I heard you, boss.”

He continued staring at me and I was ready to snap his neck. “What?”

“I mean no disrespect, boss, but you’re as close to the edge as I’ve seen you in a long time.”

“Yeah, well, I need to fucking hunt.”

“Maybe but you can’t do that right now. Maybe go find a guy or talk to your brother. He used to be able to pull you from the rafters. You need to stay in control.”

I was as unhinged as my Capo thought I was. I had my hand wrapped around his throat in seconds, the thickness of the adrenaline running through my veins so powerful, I managed to lift him off his feet.

Kane had seen me this bad twice before, the first time resulting in needing to redecorate my home. The second had only been squelched by a hunt. But that had been years before. Maybe my conscience was working overtime, the worry about what I could do to the woman I already adored weighing heavily on my mind. I squeezed until I heard him wheeze, dropping like a rock seconds later.

I wasn’t the kind of man to feel bad or apologize to anyone. But at that moment, I felt like shit. I turned around facing the door just as I’d done with Bella. I raked my hand through my hair before fisting both. “I’m going out, Kane. By myself. I need you to protect Bella with your life if necessary. She’s very special to me. I don’t think she’ll try and escape but make sure she doesn’t. Understand?”

His strangled sound was just another reminder I wasn’t always good at being in control of the demons. “Absolutely, boss.”

I headed back into the suite, listening for any signs Bella had even left the room. I heard nothing but the rapid thudding of my pulse in my ears. I buttoned my shirt, trying to make myself presentable, snatching my jacket off the arm of the couch. I checked to ensure my weapon, phone, and key card were inside before heading out.

Kane was right.

Control was vital at this point.

If I couldn’t achieve it, more people would die.

As I walked down the hallway, I centered my thoughts on my sweet Bella. She deserved better. She deserved the world. Maybe that’s what I would give her.

Before disappearing from her life.

I could hear my father’s laughter all over again. He was close to winning as he always had. And I hated myself because of it.

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