Page 74 of Controlled

And the list was growing.

I found the plug, grinning as I pulled it into the light. After a couple of seconds, I snagged the lubricant I’d purchased as well. My, oh, my. Everything I did with her was much gentler than my usual tactics. As soon as I walked closer, she noticed what I had in my hand, her body stiffening in anticipation.

“Relax, my sweet dancer. This won’t hurt a bit.”

“Liar.”

She could easily make me laugh. I slickened the end, twisting the thick, red rubber in my hands, enjoying every nuance and complicated facial expression she made.

“Now, shift back a foot or so, bend over, and use both hands to spread those sexy ass cheeks.”

People were fascinating creatures. She hated me one minute, was distrustful the next, longing for my touch after that and all through the various phases, she remained defiant. I’d had six-foot six-inch men break into sobs around me. How was she so courageous in the face of a man she certainly had to consider an enemy?

Perhaps Styx was right once again. All the shit I’d heard about women being the weaker sex was bullshit. They were much stronger by nature and by instinct. I kept my eyes on her as I pushed the tip into her hole, twisting and turning as I did so.

“Bastard,” she whispered but obeyed me without further hesitation.

The need to be brutal with her, as I would with anyone else, crept into the forefront of my mind. It was like a cattle prod, the rush of electricity having nothing to do with pleasure.

It had been another one of my father’s methods of inflicting pain, another way of keeping us in line. It was also something I hadn’t thought about in years. Yet here I was, conjuring up far too many thoughts and experiences from the past. I hadn’t realized I’d outwardly displayed any sign of distress until she did what she could to tip her head over her shoulder.

“Are you okay?” she asked and there was surprisingly enough concern in her voice for the both of us.

I opened my mouth to laugh it off when two things happened. Beads of sweat rolled down my face, the back of my neck and the insides of my thighs. And worse, I could hear my father’s laugh, the one he’d used when any of the three of us had begged for mercy.

“Mercy, boy? There’s no such thing as mercy in this world. The sooner the three of you learn that the better. And I’m here to help. Pain will provide the reminder you need.”

I could almost feel the brutal zap as the prod was driven into my skin. There were days he enjoyed taking shifts from one to the other of us. But the ones I hated the worst were when Easton was picked on. The single time I’d broken free of the mental tether of terror my father had over me, screaming at the bastard not to hurt my baby brother, was also the last time I’d attempted to do anything that stupid.

I’d been beaten into unconsciousness.

“Hey. Come back to me. Creed. It’s okay. You’re okay. I’m right here.”

Through a fog that I hadn’t experienced in years, I heard the lilting sound of her voice. In the strangeness of the next minute or so, the gamut of emotions I felt strongly resembled the obliterating mass of ruin, as Easton had called it seconds before we’d tossed our father into the very woods where dozens of bodies had been buried because of his sick mind and penchant for blood.

I fisted my hand, lifting my arm and the moment she flinched, the not-so-subtle reminder I was a fucking animal rushed into my mind. I backed away instantly, coming close to spinning out of control. I hadn’t done that in years. Fucking years. What in the hell was wrong with me?

The moment I turned around rigidly, I heard a rustle and almost screamed at her. “Don’t Just… don’t.” Get fucking control. Get out. Walk. Breathe.

All the mantras I’d used when suffering all those years ago weren’t working. I was a fucking madman like she’d accused me of being. I took lumbering strides to the door, snatching my clothes and shoes along the way. I was infuriated at myself when I heard the sound of her fright in every breath she took.

Jesus Christ. She had every right to be afraid of me. I could hurt her. Fuck me. Fuck… I took a series of ragged breaths, the sound of my father’s laughter finally abating.

“Just get… some rest.” I was shocked how ridiculous my voice sounded.

“What are you doing?”

“Business. Air. I’ll be back. Do not leave this room. Do not push me, Bella. I can’t handle it right now.”

With that, I walked out the bedroom door, closing it behind me with a hard thud.

And another small part of my mind and my soul disappeared into the black hole he had created. He’d always told us he was omnipotent, always the top dog.

I’d laughed then.

Now?

After throwing on my clothes, I headed downstairs for the suite’s entrance, tossing the door open with enough force Kane jumped.

---