Page 31 of Manacled Hearts

I grit my teeth at the mention. My distant cousin is not the reason why, but the old memories I sometimes associate with him. Haunting memories…

“You think word of this has reached Venator?” I ask, disbelief clear in my tone.

“I think we must be smart and use all of our resources. Sloan Buchanan is a good, reliable resource that we can trust.”

“It’s not the only source we have in Venator. You know that woman from school. What was her name? Pandora?”

“It’s not the same thing,” Carter replies. “With Pandora, it’s an exchange, and I have no desire to trade anything. Talk to Sloan.”

Sighing, I roll my eyes and walk toward the patio door. “Fine.”

I have nothing against Buchanan. Carter’s right, we can trust him with our lives. Eight years ago, he helped us come out of a small war. Only, I came home with a dead body in my arms instead of a future. It’s why mentions of him, or anything to do with that time, makes me irrationally angry.

It’s not like I haven’t kept in touch with my cousin. But I try not to overdo it. The man’s empire in the city of three hills where he rules one of them, has grown stronger than ever. More dangerous than ever. It’s the rumors of the brewing conflicts with the other two hills that make me reluctant to get too involved with him. We have enough on our plates in Queenscove and beyond, we don’t have time for someone else’s battles.

However, there’s nothing I hate more than scumbags who traffic humans. The proximity of these ones to Queenscove disgusts me. So, if there’s even the smallest chance Sloan heard something, I’ll talk to him.

I say my goodbyes to everyone and get in my car. I’ve only had two Corona’s. The moment I heard Evelyn was invited, I knew I couldn’t drink more in case I needed to escape.

But now… I could smash a whole ass bottle of vodka on my own. I’m gonna drop the car off at home, then go to a bar to do just that.

Any bar… as long as there are women there who can make me forget.

CHAPTER 6

EVELYN

The nightmares came back in full force, and I wake up with a chilling shudder. Cold sweats shatter my body, the dreams and memories mixing into a debilitating concoction, venom seeping beneath my skin.

A feverish itch blooms, turning relentless through my flesh. I scratch at my forearms, determined to bleed the poison out of my skin. Tears I didn’t realize I was shedding blur my vision and the pain… the pain becomes unbearable.

I thought it was hidden, but it’s not—it’s entombed. Burrowing deeper and deeper, sinking its claws so it can find a permanent home in the fabrics of my being. I can’t reach; I can’t rip it out.

So, I dig my fingernails deeper, breaking the skin on a tearful wince, hoping I can bleed it out. Only, it itches more. It hurts more.

I need more!

Tears of frustration stain my cheeks, and I swallow in a bellow at the shame plaguing me. Only one thing will fulfill this need, scratch the relentless itch and dilute these nightmares. And I cry harder because that one thing I crave is exactly what those bastards injected me with.

But… it kind of helped then. Maybe now, it could keep the nightmares out of my living world.

Maybe it will help.

Make me forget.

The shame. The feel of him. The loss of control. The disappointment I am. How I failed her.

I have to forget. Even if for a few hours. I want to be back in that place where my body isn’t mine, where I am… free.

Reality sets in, and the inner pain quiets in favor of the outside one, and in the faint morning light, I see what I’ve done.

“Oh my god.”

I jump to my feet, realizing that I fell asleep on the sofa, and run to the bathroom. My inner forearms are scratched badly enough that I’m bleeding, stinging when I run them under the cold water.

At least I wasn’t in bed with Maya.

My muscles still when I catch the first glimpse of myself in the mirror. I look exactly like I feel—a failure. Maya’s smile and laughter filters through my mind, emotions I didn’t give her, but these people we now live with. I’m not taking care of her—they are. I have done nothing to contribute to her happiness.

---