Page 32 of Manacled Hearts

Did I really deserve to leave that warehouse alive? Is there a point for my presence here?

Looking down at my forearms, blood seeps out of the jagged scratches; their ugliness sure does fit on my skin. I shake my head on a sharp exhale and start rummaging through the cupboards for some gauze or anything to cover the evidence of my nightmares. Or better yet, of that searing need begging from inside my veins. I find a small basket stocked up with all sorts of first aid stuff and skip the antiseptic and whatever else I should do to tend to my skin, going straight for the roll of gauze. I make quick work of wrapping it around my forearms and hurry to go throw a long-sleeve on before Maya and Katya wake up and see me.

Living here for free makes me feel like a leech, so I’ve been trying to pull my weight as much as I can. Washing, cleaning, cooking, whatever needs doing, even if Katya keeps telling me off. Now, I’m about to pull some oats out of the cupboard for some oatmeal, but my phone pings on the counter. I twitch at the unfamiliar noise.

“What the…? Who has this number?”

Reluctant, I grab it and a new text flashes on the screen.

Hey! It’s Loreley. Katya gave me your number. Morri and I are going out for breakfast. Come join us. Pick you up in fifteen?

I look around the quiet space, bewildered as I scratch the back of my head.

This is wrong, I can’t just leave my sister here… alone. Since we’ve been brought here, I’ve always been around, even passed out in the other room, I was around. No, I can’t go. I have to be here with Maya.

But the pacing continues. As does the scratching.

What if I go, though? Is this something I can do? Just… go out for breakfast? On my own, without Maya?

God, this is strange.

I’m on my eighth tour around the kitchen island, and the idea sounds better and better with each one.

“You okay?”

“Ah!” I jump, pressing a palm to my heaving chest.

“Sorry, sorry.” Katya puts her hands up in apology.

“My fault, I was distracted.”

“Did something happen?”

“No, it’s just…” I sigh, realizing I’m worrying her with my reaction. “Loreley texted me. I guess you gave her the number. She invited me for breakfast.”

“Go,” she says before I even finished the last syllable.

“I can’t just—Maya is—”

“She’s fine. I’ll stay with her here. I have nothing planned today anyway.” She cuts me off.

“Katya, I know I shouldn’t have any reasons to be uncomfortable with this, any rational ones anyway, but… Look, after everything her and I have been through, the only time we’ve spent apart in the last two years was when she went to school and when we got separated in that container. That’s it. Leaving her…”

“I understand. I’m not going to force trust on you. I can’t do that. But sometimes you have to listen to your gut. If yours tells you to keep your guard up around us, around me, then fair enough. Just make sure that’s the reason you’re doing it. All I can tell you is that none of us are here to hurt you.”

I know. Rationally I know all they’ve done has been more than generous. Selfless too. Maybe they’re keeping me around in the hopes that I’ll remember something useful about the men who took us, which is fair enough. But if that was the only reason, we wouldn’t be sleeping in Katya’s soft bed and expensive sheets every night.

I have to try this. Let go, if only for a bit.

Perhaps later on I will be able to go out on my own and seek something more.

It’s my birthday today, after all.

I look at the phone and my fingers fly over the letters.

I’ll be downstairs. Thank you.

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