Page 54 of The Waiting Game

“Yeah.” Jonah rubbed his forehead. “God, I can’t tell if I’m coming or going tonight. My head’s all scrambled.”

“It’s okay. I’m used to that too.”

Jonah made a face at Felix, but it turned into a wince when he saw the presents on the kitchen island. “Ahh, fuck, your birthday. I forgot about that too.”

“Ugh. Who cares?” Felix leaned back against the counter by the sink. “It’s just a stupid milestone anyway.”

“No, don’t say that,” Jonah argued. “Want some cake? Grandma Ji-min won’t care if we have it without her. Actually, knowing her, she’d be delighted we ate it.”

Felix shrugged. “Well, I wouldn’t turn it down.”

Jonah chuckled and reached for the refrigerator door handle. The cake was slightly melted-looking after having sat out for a bit earlier.

Whatever it looked like, it would taste good.

Jonah cut two big slices and set them out on plates while Felix got out forks. They took seats on the stools by the island and dug into their dessert, eating in silence.

The white cake was light and fluffy, filled with vanilla whipped cream and thin slices of mango. There was more whipped cream on the outside and cubes of mango arranged artistically on top. It wasn’t overly sweet and had always been Felix’s favorite. It was pretty high up there for Jonah too.

But with every bite, Jonah was reminded of the love and care Grandma Ji-min had put into it. He blinked down at the rapidly disappearing slice, wondering why it was beginning to blur.

And why he couldn’t get the image of his grandmother crumpled on the floor out of his head.

The stress of the night crashed over him and he pushed away the food, no longer hungry.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Felix asked, his voice low and concerned.

Jonah turned and buried his head against Felix’s shoulder. “I can’t lose her,” he whispered and Felix wrapped his arms tightly around Jonah’s back, despite the awkwardness of their position.

“You won’t.”

“I will someday,” Jonah said, his voice cracking.

“Yeah.” Felix rocked him a little, brushing his lips across Jonah’s hair. “Someday. But not yet.”

Jonah clung to him, grateful that in the midst of all of the fear and uncertainty, at least he had Felix.

Felix glanced around Jonah’s childhood bedroom. It no longer looked like the little boy’s room it had once been. It had been redecorated years ago into something more neutral. The posters of hockey players on the wall had been replaced with serene landscape paintings from local artists.

Knowing Jonah, the old posters had been equal parts hero worship and jerk-off material.

Jonah was already in the bathroom getting ready for sleep and Felix wandered over, leaning against the open doorframe and watching Jonah brush his teeth.

“Hey, can I borrow some clothes to sleep in?” Felix asked. Jonah stayed over semi-regularly so there were always spares around.

“Hmm?” Jonah froze with his green toothbrush sticking out of his mouth, meeting Felix’s gaze in the reflection of the mirror over the sink.

“Clothes,” Felix said. “Can I borrow some?”

“Help yourself.” The words were a little garbled but clear enough to understand.

“Thanks.”

Felix rummaged through the drawers and found some boxer briefs, sweats, and a tee. He was still mostly undressed when Jonah came into the bedroom.

Jonah blinked at him. “What are you doing?”

Felix froze, hands on the waistband of his boxers. “Uhh, what does it look like?”

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