Page 172 of The Waiting Game

Jonah took a shuddering breath and nodded. “I want to believe that. I’m just … I’m scared.”

She stroked his hair again. “I wish I could take that fear away for you. But unfortunately, it’s something we all must bear on our own. Not without love. Not without support. But I cannot fix it for you, Jo-nah, no matter how hard I try. You have to face it head-on.”

“I know.”

“And you have to face the fact that I will be gone. But this is how life is supposed to work. The young have to say goodbye to the old. I had to say goodbye to my child and that’s not how it’s supposed to go. It was so painful losing Hana. Your mother was so bright and kind and beautiful. And when she brought Zachary home, I loved him too. He was a wonderful man. Wonderful to Hana, to you … Cho and I grieved for a long time when we lost them. It nearly broke our hearts. But we had this bright, kind, beautiful boy to look after.”

She cupped his cheek.

“You are so much like your mother, Jo-nah. And you have been such a joy in my life. I love having you around as often as I do but maybe it’s time you start focusing on your own life. Not just your hockey but everything else. You deserve the romantic love and the family you’ve always wanted. Don’t hold yourself back for me. Please.”

“I’ll try,” he whispered.

“Now what are you going to do about Felix?”

He swallowed hard. “I don’t know. I’m afraid he got drunk. Ismael got there when I was leaving to come here. It’s good that he called but … what if it was too late?”

“He might have had a lapse,” Grandma agreed. “But does that make you love him less?”

“No, of course not! I just don’t know how to help him. How to support him without … without letting it fuck up my life. We lost the game because I went after a guy who called him shitty things.”

“Did Felix want you to?”

“No.” Jonah sighed.

“You can’t fight his battles, Jonah.”

“I’m trying not to! That’s why I let him go tonight instead of chasing after him and grabbing that bottle out of his hand. But it’s hard to stop now when we’ve been fighting each other’s battles since we were children.”

“Your willingness to fight for each other is admirable but maybe it’s time you focused on loving each other instead.”

“What do I do to show him how much I love him?”

“You tell him, Jo-nah. You apologize for pushing him away, you tell him how you feel, and you see if he wants a relationship with you. That’s all you can do.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

Felix took a deep breath as he approached Grandma Ji-min’s room. He could hear the low murmur of two familiar voices inside and his chest fluttered with nerves.

He straightened his collar, then took one more deep breath as he knocked on the half-open door.

“Come in,” she called out.

“Hey,” Felix said as he stepped inside. “I, uh, was hoping you might be up for a breakfast delivery.”

Jonah stared at him, lips parted, but he didn’t say anything.

Grandma Ji-min smiled and held out her hand. “Of course. Come here. I need a hug.”

Some of the tension in Felix’s chest eased as he set down his bag on the nearby chair. He gave Grandma Ji-min a careful hug, then kissed her cheek. She had good color and though she looked a little tired, her eyes were sparkling as she looked him up and down.

“You look so handsome this morning, Felix.”

He rubbed his cheek, feeling unexpectedly bashful. “I decided I should probably trim the scraggly playoff beard that was starting.”

After a long, thorough talk with Ismael as the sun rose, Felix had showered and dressed. He’d taken extra care with his appearance because he wanted to show Jonah and Grandma Ji-min—and himself—that he was in control of himself again.

He’d stumbled, but he hadn’t fallen.

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