Page 2 of Ballads of Lines Blurred

“Deflecting isn’t your strong suit and they’ve already met. With an extended family as big as ours, they know each other.”

Jealousy clawed at my chest as images rushed through my mind. Cody and Milo together, dancing, laughing, enjoying each other. I sat up straight and pushed my chair back so I could stand. Once I was on my feet, I reached for my wallet and pulled out a hundred to drop it on the table as a tip for the server.

Dexen reached for my wrist, holding it in his grasp. “They’re not together. I told you; Milo thinks with his dick.”

I thumbed a card in my wallet. One with just my number on it. I gave it out to people I wanted to connect with and who I could trust enough not to be an obsessed fan. Taking it out, I dropped it on the table next to the money. “Give this to Milo. Maybe his dick is what I need.”

With that, I shook off Dexen’s hold and turned to take my exit. I shouldn’t have left my card. I didn’t dip my dick in the extended family or friendship pool, yet I didn’t want to go back and grab the card either. There would be plenty of time for my mind to obsessively think this over when I was showered and in bed, unable to calm my racing thoughts long enough to sleep.

1

CODY

There was nothing exciting on my phone. Not on social media, not in the group chats I had with my friends and others. Nothing kept my interest.

I knew what my problem was, or who it was. Two weeks ago I’d turned twenty, and here I lay on the couch with my phone in hand, scrolling, seeing nothing because I couldn’t get him off my mind.

Val sat on the couch by my feet. He was one of the father figures in my life. When my sister, Olivia, and I were unsure where we were going to live, Xaiden stepped up. He was a certified foster parent and officially adopted us. Val and Corbin were Xaiden’s partners. While I didn’t need to be adopted, given my age, it was important to all of us to do so. We waited until Olivia was ready though. She had a harder time losing our parents than I did, at least on the outside. I fought a lot of things inside and kept them there. Or let them out in the gym Xaiden owned, where I worked. Exercise was its own kind of therapy. I’d stopped seeing a therapist a while ago.

“You’re not letting it go, are you?” Val asked. He was closest to me in age out of the three of them at only five years older than me.

I could pretend I didn’t know what he was talking about. That wouldn’t get me anywhere though. “No.”

“You should date, have lots of sex, live your best life.”

“Jesus, Val, I don’t sleep around.” He made it sound like I should get off every chance I got.

Val groaned and dropped his head back. “I know, but you’re home pining. That’s a whole other issue. It’s been months, and you haven’t dated anyone.”

“No one’s interested me.”

It was foolish. Maybe. I was pining over Slater. I couldn’t help it. The first time I met him face-to-face, I was done for. But he thought I was a kid. A child who didn’t deserve the same respect everyone else got, because of my age. He knew I’d been through a lot. Everyone in our circle did. Yet, I was kept firmly out of the realm of possibility as a love interest.

Yeah, I said it—love. I didn’t want to fuck around with Slater. Not when I could see the tortured look in his eyes. The way he seemed to lock everything down and not let it show. He did let some see. Dash and Romeo had told me, but I wasn’t privy to it like I wished I was. Because I was a kid. If he’d only get to know me, see me as someone he could be interested in.

Not that I was in love with Slater. Although I could want that. Want him for more than sex.

“Why do I have to fuck a bunch of random people?” I asked. “You knew when you got to know Xaiden and Corbin that they were special.”

“I know but?—”

“You were only three years older than me back then.”

“Yeah, but?—”

“Val, stop,” I told him.

A hand ruffled my hair a second before Xaiden came into view and sat on the other couch, propping his feet up on the wooden coffee table. This was his house first. He had it built to his specifications, to the solitary life he led years ago. Then he let Val and Corbin into his heart. Before them, Xaiden was straight, which proved my point further. When you knew…

“You’re going to start on me too, aren’t you?” I asked Xaiden.

“Should I?”

“Why is it so hard to believe I want him like I do? Why does it keep coming back to my age?”

“Because you’re young,” Corbin said, stepping into the room. He gave me a soft smile then sat beside Xaiden, putting his hand on Xaiden’s thigh. The three of them were very different, yet together made perfect sense.

Val was the youngest and said whatever he wanted. He took bluntness to another level. At least I always knew where I stood with him, which I appreciated. There was no sugarcoating his words.

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