Page 87 of The Love Hack

I nodded. This still wasn’t really making sense to me, but at least now we were talking about the thing I’d come here to talk about.

‘And Luce, the relief was just— I can’t describe it. No more dates. No more swiping. I had my person. I had a ring on my finger. I could get on with what my life was supposed to be.’

‘And eat doughnuts?’

‘God, no. I mean, maybe now I can blame it on the baby. But you see, if I were to leave Zack, I’d be back where I started. I’d be alone again. I’d be back on the market. And I can’t…’ she sniffed. ‘I just can’t face it.’

‘But you—’ I began, but she carried on.

‘I’m sorry about what I said to you the other night. I was horrible. I believe what you told me about him.’

Relief washed over me, followed immediately by a sense of weary resignation.

‘But you’re still…?’ I asked.

‘I’m still going to stay with him.’ Her voice was calm. ‘We’re married. Once he knows about the baby it’ll stop. It'll be okay.’

‘Amelie, this is – you don't have to do that.’

‘I do. This is what I signed up for. I’ve got to make it work. Luce, promise me something?’

‘Of course.’

‘Don’t hate me? Please?’

‘Am,’ I swivelled round on the bench so I could look at her directly, ‘I know I'm meant to be the clever one of us, and we both know that’s not actually true. But right now, I’ve got to tell you, you’re being as thick as mince. Of course I hate what Zack’s done. Right now, if he was standing here, I’d kick him in the balls so hard he’d have to swallow them back down. But you know what? If you forgive him, when you guys move back to London with your baby, I’ll buy that man a Christmas present every single year until I die. Whenever I see him I’ll smile so nicely everyone will think we’re best buddies. I’ll be your baby’s godmother if you ask me and I’ll never say a bad word about its father. Why? Because you’re my sister and I want you to be happy. Got it?’

‘Got it. Maybe say about his balls again – I liked that bit.’

I said it again and Amelie nodded in satisfaction.

‘Thank you, Luce. You’re the best.’

‘I love you, Am.’

‘Love you more.’ She managed a watery smile. ‘I won’t pull the radio silence on you again. I’m feeling better. Facetime as soon as you’re back in London and we’ll chat, okay? I’ll tell you what he says about – you know. Everything.’

‘Okay. As soon as I’m home, I’ll call you.’

‘Speaking of home,’ she said, ‘I should get back. I’m bursting for a wee.’

‘Okay.’ I said again.

We stood up and walked slowly back the way we’d come. The shadows from the buildings that fell across the path were longer now, the benches on the other side of the path in shade also.

As we got near to Amelie’s apartment, her pace increased, but when we reached the entrance she stopped.

‘Luce?’

‘Am?’

‘Are you going to eat that jam doughnut, or can I have it?’

‘Of course you can have it. You’re my sister.’

I passed over the paper bag, bunched and wrinkled at the top where I’d been clutching it in my hand. Amelie took it, then reached out her arms to me and we hugged as if we’d never stop.

THIRTY-FOUR

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