Page 36 of Crave You

“Oh God girl, I hope you made him double bag it,” Tilly says. I frown and she moves in closer, lowering her voice. “I probably shouldn’t be saying this, but he’s not exactly known for sticking to one girl. Do you really think he wasn’t fucking about when you two were in fight mode?”

I shrug. “I hadn’t really thought about it to be honest,” I say.

“You should,” Tilly says. “Because you need to know that Zan isn’t like most guys. He will hurt you.”

“Like he hurt you?” I challenge her.

It’s Tilly’s turn to shrug. “I’m just biding my time. I mean don’t get me wrong, it did hurt a bit being cast aside, but I get it. Zan needs to get all of that aggression out of his system before he can settle down with a girl. When he’s ready, he’ll come find me,” she says.

“You keep on telling yourself that,” I say, shaking my head and laughing.

But I can’t help but wonder if there isn’t a little bit of truth in what she’s saying. Tilly belongs in the same world as Zander, a world of money and big business where I don’t really fit. I duck into class before, Tilly can say anything else, but her words are bugging me and they keep bugging me all day.

By the time Zander arrives to pick me up, I have worked myself up into quite a state thinking about it all. I get into Zander’s car, and he instantly sees something is wrong.

“What’s happened?” he asks.

I start to tell him nothing happened, and that I’m Ok. Then I remember the talk that we had about being honest with each other, and I decide to just say what’s on my mind.

“Did you hook up with Tilly while we were split up?” I ask. I hurry on before he can answer. “I know I have no right to ask that and if you did, I can hardly moan, I just need to know.”

“I didn’t hook up with anyone Leona. Especially not Tilly,” Zander says. “What’s she said to get under your skin.”

“Well, she implied that you have always slept around,” I say.

“OK, until I met you, that was true,” Zander says.

“I figured as much, but that was before we met so I’m not worried about that,” I say. “But you know, she as good as said that you were sleeping around while we were broken up. I know we weren’t together, but I don’t really like the thought of it.”

“You’re jealous,” Zander says, grinning over at me.

“I guess,” I admit.

“You don’t have to be. I didn’t sleep with anyone while we were split, I swear,” he says.

“OK,” I say.

We fall quiet and after a few minutes, Zander touches my knee.

“Come on, what else did she say?”

I sigh. I might as well just say it. “She said that you’re using me to get rid of all of this aggression you have. That you will use me until you feel like you could have a normal relationship and then you’ll be with her.”

“Is that what you think?” he asks.

“No. Yes. No,” I say. He looks at me and the corner of his mouth lifts with amusement and I can’t help but smile, too. “No. I mean I don’t think you’ve sat down and planned that. But then I can’t help thinking that Tilly is more from your world and she’s more likely to be someone you could take home to your parents and stuff.”

“I wouldn’t introduce Tilly to the stray cat that wanders down the alleyway behind our house, let alone my parents,” Zander says. “I said I was not going to lie to you. I did fuck Tilly once. It was before we got together and it was a one-time thing as far as I am concerned. I don’t want to be with her, I don’t want to even have sex with her ever again. Saying sleeping with her was a mistake is probably a bit harsh, but if I had known she was going to get all weird like she has, I wouldn’t have gone anywhere near her.”

“OK,” I say. I smile then, my first real smile since talking to Tilly. “Sorry, but I had to ask.”

“I know. That’s what we said, right? Open communication instead of brooding about something and ending up mad at the other person without them even knowing what they are meant to have done wrong.”

It is my turn to put my hand on his knee. I don’t stop at his knee though, I run my fingers up his thigh.

“I like this new thing,” I say.

Chapter Thirteen

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