Page 7 of Dare to be Different

“It’s not like we planned it. If we pick up together, it usually leads to going to the same place but different rooms or at least different sides of the bed.” I laugh. “Last night was just one big swapping mess. Hot, though. Those chicks played us harder than we played them.”

“Enjoy it because soon enough, you’ll settle down like the rest of these assholes,” Rydan says.

“You and the twins, Zahn. Only ones left in the singles club.”

“Don’t plan to leave it, thanks. I like variety too much.”

Variety in everything. Different people, energies, styles, chemical reactions, all of it. I like different thrills, different kinds of flirting, and different ways of reading a situation. I like the element of surprise and the unknown of what exactly I’m getting myself into. I like different kinks and tastes in pleasure, and I like having the option to experience them all. I just like change.

“The chase gets old, man,” Four says, like he knows anything.

“What are you, some professional husband now?” I turn around and smack him.

“I’m just saying!” He smacks me back. “When you find the right one…”

“Oh, fuck off with that shit, Four. Save it for Ry.”

“Why me?” Rydan scoffs.

“Because you’re in the ‘finding the right one’ phase. You want that. I’m in the ‘who’s gonna win the opportunity to get kinky with me’ phase. I like it here. Here is fun. Here is comfortable.”

“Still holding out for Lakes?” Dom taunts.

I laugh. “Damn right. She knows I’m beautiful. Oh, fuck.” I laugh at myself. “I’ve turned into Kade from a year ago.”

Everyone laughs at that, but they know I’m joking. Yeah, I like to watch, but Laken isn’t the girl of my dreams. Her body is banging and her personality is the bomb, but she’s family, and I love her as family. I need someone a little different. Someone who fucking gets me.

“You’re almost as pervy as he was.”

Oh, if only they fucking knew.

A couple of nights later, I’m stuck in Cold Bay for the night because a storm blew in. I’m shacked up in a lodge with a few other pilots, just trying to fall asleep as fast as I can to make the time go by quicker. But it’s hard in a place like this because everyone is coming and going, and it never gets quiet. I like the noise of home, but this is different. Plus, the bed is the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever been on, and if it wasn’t so cold in here, I’d move down to the floor.

My mind is all over the place, which isn’t normal for me. I don’t overthink things or spin out of control with my thoughts. I’m easy-breezy, not the kind of guy to get worked up over nothing. Because that’s what this is—nothing. I can’t even pinpoint a reason why my mind is so chaotic.

Yeah, work has been so busy it’s stressful, but otherwise, nothing is wrong in life. I’m happy, healthy, living it up, got a good thing going with my best bud, and don’t think anything needs to change.

But maybe that’s it. Everything is outwardly changing. My brothers are all settling down, and I feel so far from that it isn’t even funny. Like, Kade’s the baby and even he’s in love, so what the hell am I doing? I’m not someone who believes in needing a forever person. I don’t have this urge to follow some chronological timeline for life, falling into the dating, marriage, and kids style of life most people go for. That’s not really me, and I’ve always been okay with that.

Am I uneasy about falling behind or some shit like that?

But how can I even fall behind when I’m so young? I’m in my prime years, living life to the fullest in my mid-twenties, and not ashamed of it at all. I don’t feel old enough to settle down, and honestly, when I think of some future I’m supposed to have, there’s no clear image. I have no idea what I want, and up until this very moment, I thought it was perfectly okay to keep it like that. To not know. To be free to change my mind and make mistakes, and revel in variety and thrills. What’s so wrong with that?

Nothing.

So why the actual fuck am I all weird about it?

I’m snapped from my unclear thoughts when someone knocks on the door. I climb off the bed, assuming it’s traffic control telling me I’m clear for takeoff.

“Weather bett… oh, hey you!” I hug Aurora. She’s a pilot from Northern Canada. We’ve met on a few jobs and spent nights together at places like this.

“Heard you were here,” she says, holding up a bottle. “I brought shitty booze to help me fall asleep in this place. You in?”

I step aside to let her in. “Was staring at the ceiling anyway.”

She pours two plastic cups and hands me one, sitting on the end of the bed. “No Remy tonight?”

“He’s up north until tomorrow, and then we actually get a real day off.” I clink my cup to hers to celebrate that small victory. “Kinda miss him. He makes these places better.”

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