And that’s the damn truth. I’m not afraid of being alone, but doing everything with Remy is just my stasis. My comfy place. We’ve always done everything together, and I guess I got comfortable having him with me for everything.
“Well, I’m off to Nunavut as soon as the weather clears,” Aurora says. “You up for bad decisions in cold places?” She grins at me.
We’ve hooked up here before. Remy’s hooked up with her before, too. She’s a no-strings-attached, free-spirited kind of girl, and I’m into it. I’d never date her, but she’s fun to spend time with. The wind is basically coming through the walls, so shitty booze and sex sounds like a good way to warm up.
I grin at her.
She laughs. “You have a condom?”
I set down the cup. “I’m a Dare. I always have a condom.”
Guess I can get through one night without Remy.
Chapter 4
Something isn’t sitting right with me when I finally make it back to Seward the next day. Yeah, the sex with Aurora was hot and fun, but something was missing. What’s wrong with my damn head lately? Have I dipped so far into depravity that I need someone else there to get me off? Do I need to be watched, or do I now need to watch someone else? Can’t a single hookup with one person be enough?
My mind drifts back to the night with Remy and those two chicks from the bar. Yeah, I watched Remy and the other girl, but it was the brunette that got me off, right? Was it the sex or the atmosphere? I don’t even know anymore, and I hate overthinking this shit. My thoughts are too confusing for me to keep up with. And I’m way too tired to think about it right now.
“Everything go good?” Remy asks as we lock up the planes to leave the airport.
“Yeah, other than the storm. Had to stay in the Cold Lodges. Was freezing.” I shiver. We both hate that place.
“Yeah, Aurora texted me.” Remy laughs. “Told me she kept ya warm.”
That weirdness hits me again. What the hell? “I kept her warm. Hot as fuck, actually.” I brush my shoulders. “What’re you doing tomorrow? First full weekend off in, what, months?”
Remy shrugs, locking the bay doors. “I don’t know, man. I forget how to make plans.”
I laugh at that as we walk to the trucks. “You should come over tomorrow. We can go boarding or something, and I’m sure the boys will be up for anything. They miss you.”
“Sounds good.” He throws his bag in the backseat but doesn’t get in the truck. I wait because Remy isn’t usually hesitant. “You remember that chick from Anchorage who stayed with me for a bit a few years back? Went to our high school, we both…”
I nod.
“She’s gonna be in town this weekend. We should hang out with her one night. She’s bringing her husband, and I don’t want to be the third wheel. Come with me?”
“Look at us being adorably dependent on each other,” I tease him. I tease both of us. “I didn’t know how to keep busy without you in Cold Bay last night, and now you don’t want to be the third wheel.” I laugh. “Let me know when, man. I’m down.”
“We need some distance,” he jokes. “Alright. See ya tomorrow?”
As soon as I get home, I crash. I sleep for twelve hours, and for the first time in months, I feel a lot better by the time I wake up.
“Since when do you smoke, baby?” Mom catches me out on the front porch with one of her cigarettes.
I stare at it. “I don’t. These things are fucking terrible. Why do you smoke them?”
“Nasty habit. Don’t pick it up.” She sits down beside me.
“Everyone’s always out here smoking these things and sorting out all their life problems, so I thought I’d give it a go. Not a fan.”
She takes it from me. “What’s going on? Talk to me.”
I roll my eyes at her. “Oh, please. Do not try to pull one of your bullshit deep conversations on me, Mom. I’m just tired from work. Nothing deeper than that.”
“Mhm,” she hums. “Then why are you out here when everyone else is in there?” She tilts her head at the house.
Yeah, it’s cold as balls out here. “I’m waiting for Rem. He’s coming to pick me up.”