Page 36 of Scores Of The Heart

We both stand looking at each other. We’re so similar sometimes, people think we’re twins.

“I’m fine,” I mutter, fumbling for my car fob. Though I don’t even need it as my SUV has keyless entry.

“You’re not fine.”

She’s right. I need to leave. I don’t want Mom coming out here. It’s not like she would, anyway. She’s never been sorry or chased anyone in her life.

I stamp my foot like a child having a tantrum, but I guess it beats smashing something. “Why does she always do this?” I all but yell. “Every freaking time. She just loves rubbing it in my face!”

Caitlin rubs my arm soothingly. “I’m sorry,” she says, like it’s her fault. It isn’t.

She’s done nothing but be on my side, always.

“It’s not your fault. It had to happen.”

“I don’t like seeing you upset,” she goes on, holding her arms out to me. We hug for the longest time.

“Thanks, sis. You know how to make things better,” I tell her. “You always had that knack.”

She smiles. “I can’t believe you just said fuck and screw in front of Mom.”

I can’t help but laugh, though I feel like I have nothing to laugh about right now.

“For someone we’ve both known for a long time, I don’t think I’ll ever get any closer to knowing her or what she’s really about,” I say sadly.

“Mom makes it that way, just remember that.”

I sniff into my hand, wiping my eyes. “I shouldn’t let her rile me. I know it.”

“You should be able to have a peaceful lunch with your mom and sister without your ex being brought up every single time, Cindy. It’s not normal.”

I nod, leaning back on my car. I relax a little, knowing that Mom isn’t going to come out to the parking lot begging for my forgiveness. Like that would happen.

“How can what he did all those years ago still be okay in her eyes? That’s the part I don’t get. I’m over it anyway, why isn’t she? We were young, what he did was wrong, but I’ve moved on.”

“I know,” she sympathizes. “And she won’t let you forget it, and I’ve no idea why. She has it in her head about you and him being meant to be or something, and that’s that. It’s amazing she thinks the devil is in everyone else, but not in the actual people that do wrong!”

“Tell me about it.” I hear my cell vibrate from my pocket and pull it out. A small smile escapes me as I see another message from Tyler. I still haven’t read the first one yet.

“Wait a minute.” Caitlin grins as her hands rest on her hips. “What’s that little smile all about?”

“Nothing.” I shake it off, or try to. Shoving my cell back in my pocket for later. The excitement I feel about reading it is next level.

“No way!” She tries to reach for my back pocket and I squeal, dodging her.

“It’s nothing!”

“The more you say that, the more I’m gonna try to see what it is,” she giggles. “That smile has to be about a guy. Are you seeing someone?”

I bite my lip, thinking about it. I mean, I’m not really seeing him. We made out in the car last night, and I can still feel him on my lips. His stubble on my chin. His scent is still tantalizing my senses from memory alone. The way his mouth brushed against mine, he was so tentative and tender. Nothing what I thought he’d be like.

“Cindy! Out with it!” Caitlin presses when I’m still trying to find the words to explain Tyler.

“I’m just thinking how best to put it,” I say with a laugh, shaking my head. I find it amazing that I’ve gone from all out war and tears with my mom, who I just spouted blasphemous words at inside Houston’s, to smiling and feeling cozy over my brief exchange with Tyler Peterson, the guy I can’t fall for.

“Put what?” She squeals. “You dawg! Cindy!”

Yes, she gets excited for me if she thinks there’s a guy involved. She knows my past dating history and how reserved I am with all of that.

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