Page 117 of Scores Of The Heart

“Do you love her?” She asks.

I sigh. “It’s not the time or place to talk about that.”

“Just tell me if you love her.”

“What does it matter?”

“It matters to me. I’m about to have your baby!”

“Yes. I love her, Stace, and I’ve moved on. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be in the baby’s life, therefore I’ll be in your life. Maybe we can have joint custody, if you still want that when she’s born? Or I can be the primary caregiver, and you visit or whatever.”

“Wow, you’d take her?”

“Yes. I would. She’s my child too, I don’t want her to be adopted.”

She blinks over at me with tears in her eyes.

“All possibilities,” she says. “I guess now I know where your thoughts are at, we can find a solution.”

“I think we need to wait until the birth before we make any rational decisions.”

“I think that’s a good idea, too.”

“How long do you have to go?” I ask

“About two weeks.”

Fuck, that’s not long. I feel like I’m in the twilight zone thinking about it.

I’m going to be a father in a couple of weeks?

The shock is almost too much. But she still doesn’t seem sure of what she wants to do, so I need to keep her feeling as comfortable as I can, so we keep communicating.

I want a hand in this child’s life, no matter which way we go with it.

There’s no other way.

“Do you have another prenatal thing?” I ask.

She shakes her head. “I haven’t been going for the past couple of weeks. But one of the other moms befriended me, and she’s been helping me.”

“That’s good,” I say. “Can we get together then next week and do the paternity test? Then we can arrange for me to be there if you have another doctor’s appointment, and we can start getting things ready for when the baby is born.”

“Okay, yes, let’s do that,” she says. “I’ll ask my doctor what’s involved at this late stage in my pregnancy.”

I’m glad she’s not still acting weird about the paternity test. I need to know for sure. Of course, I don’t want to put her or the baby at risk, so we will have to see what’s involved.

I don’t think she’s lying. Even so, we split up long enough ago that I’ve really no idea if there’s been anyone else or not. If she’s lying to me, I don’t know what the fuck I will do. I guess I’ll cross that bridge if and when I come to it.

“Don’t ghost me again, okay?”

She bites her lip, but nods her head.

“I mean it, Stace. If you need something, you call me. You’re not alone in this anymore.”

“Will you hate me forever for not telling you sooner?”

“I need to process things. I don’t think hating you is going to help any. I am annoyed, but we need to navigate this together and be on the same side. I meant it when I said I want to be a part of this. I’ll take full custody if you don’t want to be a mom when she’s born.”

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