Page 35 of Scores Of The Heart

We both look at her, and her eyes look sad for a moment. I wonder if she’s still talking about me and Damon, or her and Dad.

Both things have been over for years, so I don’t understand why it’s relevant now.

“Mom, don’t do this,” I say, shaking my head. “The minute Damon decided to screw Jessica in the church utility is the day it dawned on me that he wasn’t a good person.”

“Cindy, language!” Mom says, quickly glancing around to see if anyone heard me say screw.

“Oh, I could say a lot worse than that,” I balk. “Let’s face it, I caught him fucking her after all.”

Mom’s face turns beetroot as she hisses at me to keep my voice down, not that anyone could hear; I’m not shouting across the restaurant. “How dare you, young lady! Is that the kind of language you’ve picked up from working for that ghastly NHL team?”

Caitlin presses her lips together and takes a momentary deep breath. “Mom, stop.”

She glares at Caitlin now.

“Trust me, I’ve heard more than that in the locker room,” I say, feeling like I’m on a roll and can’t stop. And I probably should stop. I’ve never stood up to her like I’m doing now. It’s like I’m on the downhill slalom to the pits of hell, taking no one but myself.

“Locker room!” Mom gasps.

Of course I haven’t been in the guys’ locker room, but she doesn’t need to know that. I’m just adding fuel to the fire, for goodness knows what reason.

Caitlin is staring at me with newfound awe. She takes a couple of seconds to catch up and collect herself. “Do you have a thing about Damon and Cindy, Mom?” she sighs. “After what he did all those years back?”

Of course, Caitlin found out the whole debacle when she was old enough, and she was proud of me that I’d kicked his ass to the curb even at the tender age of seventeen.

“He made a mistake, it happens,” she huffs, folding her arms across her chest.

I can’t help but see red. How is she still going on about this years and years later?

It’s not even relevant anymore.

I push out my chair, my eyes brimming with tears, and grab my purse because I’ve had it up to my eyeballs.

Only my mom has the capacity to do this and make me feel like an idiot, even after all this time. She has no compassion whatsoever, she never has. I thought things could be different, but here she is several years later still pushing Damon at me.

“You know what, Mom? Screw this lunch. I’ve had enough!”

She stares at me, gob-smacked at my outburst and saying screw again, admittedly, it was a little louder that time. I can’t believe I just dropped the F bomb either. I’ve never done that in my life.

“If you love Damon so much, why don’t you go back to Buffalo and marry him!”

I storm off without looking back, knowing that I’ve just driven an even bigger wedge between us than what was ever there before. But for once in my life, I don’t care.

CHAPTER 8

Cindy

Caitlin catches up with me in the parking lot. I’m beyond furious by the time I reach my jeep in no time. Quick enough to be able to brush the tears away before they even fall.

It’s not even about Damon anymore. It’s my mom as a whole.

I haven’t talked to Damon in years. He tried to come groveling back here and there over long bouts of silence, but he eventually gave up. When we first moved, he threatened to come to Seattle and camp out on our front porch if I didn’t take him back. I close my eyes at the memory, squeezing them shut. I never once considered what it would be like to be with Damon ever again after what I saw that day. Cheating is just a no-go zone for me and the betrayal still stings. Mom knows it, but she seems to revel in rubbing it in my face. I also realize it was just puppy love. Now that I’m older, I know it was clearly a blessing in disguise.

I guess what annoyed me even more back then was the way everyone, except my dad, just brushed it off and tried to just sweep it under the rug. It really said very little for all the values and beliefs they were always preaching every time we went to church.

It didn’t seem to mean much when it mattered.

“Cindy, wait!” Caitlin reaches me and grabs me by the elbow as I turn around.

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