Page 80 of Goodbye Note

“You okay?” he asked, fighting a smile.

“You’re enjoying this way too fucking much.”

He lifted his shoulders, then glanced down at my hand fisted in his shirt. “I can’t exactly deny it. I’d be lying.”

I don’t know whether it was the fucking fear or how close we were, but I’d never felt so alive. “Why do you like to torture me so much?”

“Because you keep rewarding me!” He laughed, eyes never leaving mine.

“I’m so getting you back for this.” I pressed my eyes closed, too overwhelmed.

If I told myself it was the height, would I know I was lying tomorrow?

“How are you going to get me back?”

“I haven’t decided yet.” I held onto the sound of his voice, not focusing on the swaying car.

“You should really look. The view is spectacular.” He pressed his lips against my ear to speak.

A bolt of electricity rolled down my spine, and I shivered, knocking my shoulder into his chest. “I can’t.” At least my voice didn’t tremble.

“Look up at the stars then. You can do that, right?”

“Maybe,” I said, screwing up my face to tilt my head back.

The movement caused the car to lurch. I slammed my teeth shut, gritting them.

“It’s okay,” he soothed. “We are stopped at the top. The wind rocks it a little, and so will movement.”

“It’s fucking unnerving. Nothing should move like this.” I pried my eyes open, looking into the heavens. “You know, it’s the stars that gave me the courage to form a band.”

“What do you mean?” Varian stayed just as close, and I settled into his arms, trying to force some of the tension out of my body.

“I used to climb out of my window at night and lay on the roof to watch the stars. I’d write in my journal and put my sorrow out into the universe. There were days after my—break—that I wanted to throw myself off that roof just to not face the future everyone else wanted for me. I knew I had to do something for me. That’s why I named my band Second Star.”

“I thought it was a Peter Pan reference.” His lips were so close to my ear, it took everything in me not to groan.

“It is. It’s the escape. The way to not have to grow up. To chase dreams and make believe. To fucking defy what adults want. Make our own reality. All of it.” I risked a glance at him.

Fuck.

“What?” he asked.

“And you’re the guy with the stars in his eyes.”

“What makes you say that?” Varian liked it, I could tell.

“The way you look at me sometimes.” There was no other way to explain it.

“The guy with the stars in his mind, and the guy with the stars in his eyes. We’re making galaxies over here.”

“Two stars does not a galaxy make.”

“We can dream big. You said it yourself!” Varian’s voice carried triumph.

The ride lurched into motion again, but I kept my eyes open, forcing myself to take in every fucking moment of this, wanting to remember it forever.

We walked by the ocean, listening to the sound of the waves lapping at the sea.

---