Page 67 of Goodbye Note

“Hard to go against what you know, and like I said, there’s no high like a crowd of people singing your art back at you. I love it, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have its downside, and it’s not that guy’s fault. He doesn’t know what we went through. I know my brother doesn’t regret what we do; he just wishes we weren’t tied to that asshole.”

Arik pulled me into a hug. It didn’t last nearly long enough. “Someone should call that asshole out. Everyone should know what he is.”

“You’re right, but I don’t want to. I want to focus on me.” Why did that make me feel like a bigger disappointment?

“It’s not your responsibility. If that’s not going to serve you, that’s okay.” Arik wrapped his arms around me again. “You are allowed to feel however you feel, but if I ever meet him, I’m punching him out.”

“I hope to see that one day.” I swayed when we parted. “Your gift. It’s in my bunk, I think.” I bounced from wall to wall in the narrow hall like I was on a ship in the Drake Passage.

I searched around and produced it, turning around with glee. “I thought you could stick them to the ceiling of your bunk.”

“Are these glow stars?” His face broke out into a smile.

Stars burst in my chest, the glow of his happiness warming me from the inside out.

“Come help me put them up?”

“You might have to carry me there.” I laughed, but he held out his hand.

“Don’t let me break my face. Val will never forgive us.” I stumbled through the grass, riding my high.

“We got to lay in the bunk to get them placed right, I think,” Arik said, hands on his hips.

We’d tried to reach inside and do it, but I was too drunk, and Arik wasn’t as tall as I was.

“This is going to sound weird, but I think you have to throw me into the bunk.” My whole world spun, and the idea of climbing into anything just would not work.

“Try.” He stifled a laugh.

“Asshole. You just want to mock me.” I awkwardly swung a leg up, and he burst out laughing. “My arms are Jell-O right now. More like tentacles than fucking arms! Next time you’re drunk, I’m leaving you where you lie!”

“You’re right. You are so uncoordinated.” He grabbed the back of my thighs before I could get myself down, hoisting me into the bunk, but his thumbs grazed along the inside of my cheeks and I bit back a groan. “Fuck.” Why did his hands on me feel so good?

“What?” he asked.

“That was harder than it should have been.” I hedged, knowing how that fucking sounded.

He sprung onto the mattress next to me and offered the open bag.

* * *

We fell asleep, and I woke up sober with Arik curled against my side. I didn’t want to move. Ever.

I picked up my head, trying to figure out what time it was. Surely, someone would come get us if we were late, so I laid my head back down to bask in the contact.

He shifted, pressing his hip into my groin, right into my hard-on.

I bit my lip, stifling the pleasure trying to pass between my lips. I didn’t dare move. Didn’t dare wake him to find me like this. I willed it to go down, but he moved again, rolling to his stomach to stretch, making his thigh slide down the whole length of me.

I yanked my hips back. “Sorry about that.”

He opened one eye but didn’t pull back or move. “Neither one of us has gotten laid in a few weeks. It’s a natural reaction. Right?”

“Right, totally.”

“I’m hard too. I wake up that way a lot. Not a big deal.” His gaze flicked down.

Why was he looking? “True, true.”

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