Page 61 of Goodbye Note

We both stopped.

A smile edged on the corners of his mouth, and I was starting to think he wasn’t the one chasing dopamine—I was.

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” Varian said, and it felt like something passed between us.

Serafin lifted his brow but didn’t ask. He grabbed the Coco Puffs and Lucky Charms and poured some of each into one bowl.

“That’s a crime.” I passed him, plucking a marshmallow out of his bowl.

“It’s not my fault you have no taste.” I filled a backpack with clean clothes and my toiletry kit. Grabbing a clean towel, I shoved my feet into shower shoes. We exchanged a glance after I’d gathered my shower caddy like I was back in freshmen year of college.

I shrugged.

Ser nodded, giving me the ‘we’ll talk later’ look. I couldn’t decide if it was going to be about Kiernan and Hael or Varian spending the night.

Some guys had solar showers or just used baby wipes, and not every venue was set up with showers, but Warped rented these giant shower trailers. I could only imagine because they got tired of a caravan of a thousand people smelling like a ball sac.

Varian grabbed his phone. “My battery is almost dead.” He dialed and held the Nokia to his ear. “Where’s the bus? Mmmhmm… Yep… Cool… I’ll be there in a few.”

“You’re lucky they are here.”

“Sounds like they beat us here.”

We walked over in silence.

“I’ll be right back.” He darted into the bus and came out a few moments later with a towel over his shoulder and a few things clutched between his arm and chest.

I held out my caddy, and he added his stuff to it. “You can shower here…”

“Nah, Vallen is about to get in there, and he’ll use all the damn hot water. This will be quicker.”

We weren’t too far from where they had the trailers set up. There was a line, but it was short compared to how it got late at night. Depending on the city, the quality and number of showers varied. Some were as bad as being in a portable toilet, while others were as nice as a truck stop.

These were the nicest ones I’d seen. Little individual rooms with locking doors. The line built as we waited, and finally one opened up.

“You can go first.” Varian nodded.

“It’s huge. We can both go in and trade.” I hefted my caddy. “Then you don’t have to carry your stuff.”

“Fair enough.” I closed the door behind us before realizing what I’d done. Our eyes locked, and my heart picked up pace. “Do you want to…” My mouth suddenly went dry.

Varian wore a tiny smirk, rubbing his hand over his stubble. “You can. I’ll shave.”

“You should leave it,” I said in a rush.

“You think?”

I nodded, tugging my shirt off by the back of my neck. It was just nudity. I’d been naked around the guys in the band a million times. So this shouldn’t have been a big deal.

Then why did it feel like a big deal?

I shoved off my jeans and felt the heat of Varian’s gaze on my skin.

I turned around and took off my boxers before stepping into the shower and pulling the curtain. I turned on the spray, not bothering to wait for it to get warm before getting under it. I’d gotten used to any shower I could get over the last few weeks, and after college dorms, it wasn’t that much different.

I couldn’t stand the silence. Maybe it’s because my head is too loud. Maybe that’s why I hated to be alone.

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