Page 115 of Goodbye Note

I stopped my pull but didn’t let go of him. “Don’t do what?”

“You know.”

I couldn’t make out enough of him to read his expression. As well as I’d gotten to know him over the last few months, I didn’t have any idea what he was talking about. “I don’t know what you mean.”

He pulled at my grip again, but I refused to release him. “Don’t fucking play with me, Arik. You’re my best friend, but I can’t handle this. I want you, and the rejection is killing me.”

“I’m not rejecting you.”

He stared at me but didn’t say anything.

I looked up to try and read him again.

Finally, he spoke. “What are you saying?”

I shook my head. “No one else has ever understood me the way you do. It’s easy with you.”

He closed his eyes. “This doesn’t seem easy. You’ve barely touched me.”

“Come here.”

“You said you don’t want to fuck in your bunk. This is why I can’t stay. I can’t do this over and over.” If the bus hadn’t been totally silent, I wouldn’t have been able to hear him.

“Just stay.”

“Why do you want me to stay?” He wanted words, and I wanted to show him.

Terror crept up my throat and locked my joints. Only my heart was able to push past the paralyzing fear of opening up, and it raced, drowning out Varian’s breathing.

“I want you touching me,” I croaked, my mouth dry. “I’ve not let anyone touch me since Nicole except you.” I couldn’t. Not after what she’d done to me. “I want you to...”

“You want me to what?” he asked again.

I kissed him again, but it wasn’t rushed. A slow slip of the tongue. A tentative press, scared of rejection. His hands found my hips, and his lips parted, welcoming me into his mouth. How many chances would he give me to fuck this up?

I shoved a hand between us awkwardly, like I’d forgotten how to do this. I didn’t go for his button but for his cock. He was half-hard but throbbed the second my fingers tightened around him.

“Arik…”

I smiled against his mouth. “Yes?”

“Where?” His words were barely more than a growl.

“Where what?” I teased, roughly jacking him off through his jeans.

“Tell me where I’m taking you before I strip you here.”

My chest constricted, choked with arousal. I loved this side of him. “Let’s kick them out of the back lounge.”

the notes hit different when we’re alone

hold up, this Is another song

not the way the notes normally go

we became stardust

tangled and mixed ’Til i don’t know where you end and i exist

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