Page 111 of Goodbye Note

“Do I?” He moved in, body brushing mine, lighting up every spot he touched.

“More than you know.” I closed my eyes while my entire body vibrated. Like I was a spirit trapped in a shell, bouncing off the walls.

I had the sudden urge to take off my shirt, bare skin connecting with the atmosphere.

“You can’t do that.”

“Why not?” I asked, loving the way he looked at me.

“Because I lack all self-control when I’m around you.” He pressed in closer, and we moved together, lost in the music. It resonated through every molecule of us, ricocheting and rebounding, connecting us deeper than I thought possible.

A kaleidoscope of colors hit me like a train, derailing our sway. I stumbled, but Varian caught me. His hands were ecstasy. I felt every emotion all at once and all the choices I’d made that brought me here.

Brought me to Varian.

He kept one fist anchored in my shirt while the other slid under my chin, tilting it up. Our lips touched, and I was hard as fuck.

Bodies collided.

No reserves.

My hands were in his hair.

The first slow slide of his tongue into my mouth.

His taste. His hand tightening on my jaw. Every noise he made that I created.

He surged forward, slamming me into something metal, knocking me breathless. I liked it. We ground together, creating flames or colors or maybe something else.

Life was too short not to feel this good all the time.

I was so fucked. Here with just him, it was impossible to ignore how in love with him I was. How much I wanted to be the person he needed. To do all the physical things with him no matter what it meant in the light.

My hips jerked forward, getting my first feel of him rock-hard against my cock. The torturous slide together with way too many clothes between us.

“We can’t.” I felt the words swirl around me, mixing with the music and the movement of my body. None of me stopped. I wanted this.

He wanted this. But the last rational part of me knew we couldn’t have pictures of us out like this.

“I don’t want to stop.”

“Me either.” I grabbed his face, trying to regain the moment. “But there are too many people here.”

“Let’s go on the bus.”

I nodded, trying my best to straighten my clothes.

We got lost on the way, pulled into dance circles and torn apart only to fight the tides to come back together, and finally, we made it into the bus.

In the front lounge, there were people making out, and in the back was what appeared to be the start of an orgy.

“There’s nowhere to go. At least not alone.” I sagged against my bunk.

“We could go in your bunk?” Varian pulled open the curtain. “Why are there condoms here?” He picked them up.

“I don’t know.”

“How do you not know?”

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