Page 108 of Goodbye Note

Dylan came over with Vallen’s guitar and helped the strap over his head. “You two are next,” he said to Arik and me.

“Oh, let me just take off this extra shirt I have on.” Arik pulled one off, revealing another underneath.

It read: Ghost friends forever because even when I’m dead I’m haunting you.

The ghosts were holding up their middle fingers.

“But wait.” Arik turned around and showed me the back. It had ‘Star Boy’ printed in bold letters.

“How the fuck did you get that so fast?” All I could do was laugh. It released some of the tension in my muscles.

“I had Lindsay do it.” Arik grinned, all proud of himself. “Want yours?”

“You made me one?”

“Obviously.” Arik pulled it out of his back pocket and held it up.

It read: Ghost secret club. You can’t see us, we’re invisible.

It had a ghost giving a peace sign.

Then he flipped it over to show me the back: Chemical Smuggler

I lost it and tried to pull my shirt off but got tangled in my fit of laughter. Arik had to help me get it off so I could put on the new one. We barely got it done before Dylan was trying to hand us our guitars.

“Like it?” Arik whispered as we walked out onstage.

“I love it.” I loved him.

I needed that love to get me through tonight, because the second the lights came up, I spotted my father.

He sat in the VIP section with a beer in his hand. He raised it like a fucking salute to the mark on my face.

Arik took his place right next to me and spent the entire forty-five minute set within reach. He didn’t play around with Val or any of the other guys. I wouldn’t have made it through the night without him.

We went off after the encore, and I leapt at him, sweaty ghost shirts and all, wrapping him in a hug. “Thank you.”

“I love you. He doesn’t have to because I always will. You can count on me for that forever. Fuck him.”

I melted into him, too overcome with emotion to say anything, but I clung to his arms, pressing my face into his hair. He wrapped his arms around my middle, hugging me tightly to him. It soothed my soul.

I wondered whether he knew how much this meant to me. How much he meant to me. I hated opening my heart to another hurt because how could we really make this last when we were both barely into our twenties? Could anyone really expect to even stay friends with someone that long?

“I don’t deserve you,” I said at last.

“You do deserve me. That’s what you need to learn. You deserve so much better than what that asshole offered you, and I’m not allowing you to settle for less.”

“Not allowing me?” A smile played on my lips, and I started to feel more like myself.

“Nope. I’m going to have to vet any motherfucker who likes you too much to make sure they aren’t an asshole.” He doubled down, and fuck if it didn’t make me half hard. I was going to have to learn how to dial back and control this crush because if he kept talking like this, I was going to be hard all the time and that would get awkward fast.

I kissed him, there in the dark, knowing we could be seen by someone, but I didn’t care. “I love you too.”The weight of what we said not fully sinking in.

He smiled into my lips, cupping my cheeks. “Let’s go tear down so we can go do all the drugs.”

“I deserve drugs after this.”

“We both do.”

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