Page 109 of Goodbye Note

We got all packed up, and both our bands got together to do all the molly we’d scored.

While we waited for the drugs to hit, I saw an alert that Arik had updated his PocketJournal.

i used to always think i’d miss the cold, but this summer has me loving the hot and Miserable

every day Is more beautiful

i think i might be in love again

rip to me

send flowers for my grave because I might Not survivE this

As soon as I read it, I melted. I took a screenshot and saved it to a hidden folder in my phone. I wanted to ask him about it…but did I dare?

THIRTY-ONE

ARIK

“What is this stunt?" Kiernan asked through his teeth.

“What stunt?” I asked from where we chilled, all sprawled out in the grass on blankets. We’d ‘borrowed’ a speaker from a roadie who was taking molly with us, and the music was low with plans to turn the field into a makeshift rave once the drugs hit.

“You two with matching ghost shirts?”

“They were funny!”

“They have the rumor mill spinning up again.”

“They are going to talk about anything now. We’d have to stay away from each other to get them to quit.”

“We are in a really fragile place with the label. They are planning this huge tour, and we don’t want to lose their support because they think the public won’t support you anymore.”

“If anything, it will make fans go more crazy. I thought all publicity was good?”I said through my teeth.

“It’s delicate. We don’t want to give them the wrong idea or”—he looked me over—“Confirm anything.”

“I hear you.” I cracked a glow stick and tossed it at him. “Maybe you should take some molly and chill out.”

Kiernan narrowed his eyes and then looked around. “What?”

I grinned, knowing it would hit in the next twenty minutes or so and be too late for him to do anything about it. “What?”

“Did you guys take…” He dropped his voice to finish, “MDMA?”

“You know how you said you wanted to try molly?” Hael asked coyly, coming up behind Kiernan.

“Me trying something doesn’t mean babysitting all of you fucks while you take it.” Kiernan flexed his jaw, annoyed.

“Keep drinking that water and you won’t have to wonder.” Hael winked at me.

Kiernan spun on him. “What did you do?!”

Hael lifted his arms, hips swaying to the music. “You told me a week ago you were too scared to do it and I’d have to force you. That sounded like consent.”

“Fuck.” Kiernan scrubbed a hand over his face then cracked open the water bottle and chugged the rest. “I better not be that far behind you.”

“You won’t be.” Hael closed his eyes, crooking a finger at Kiernan. “I gave it to you at the same time I gave it to the other guys. You got about twenty or thirty minutes depending on how fast you drank most of that bottle.”

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