Page 164 of Goodbye Note

I expected him to call, and I expected him to talk me off the ledge. I called, and I texted, but he didn’t answer.

Was this always destined to end?

A train heading for the end of the rail.

We burned the bridges before we got to them.

Said goodbye so many times I don’t know how to make it real this time.

Why can’t we make this work?

He didn’t call.

Today I regret all that you were.

Every word.

Every touch.

Every kiss.

Every minute you spent convincing me you were safe.

None of it was real, was it?

PART 3

SURVIVING THE WINTER

If losing you comes in stages, why do I never get to acceptance?

Seventeen years later

FORTY-EIGHT

VARIAN

“How many women can he fuck? Jesus fuck.” I tossed my phone on the table.

Vallen lifted a brow. “Why are you reading tabloids?”

“Because I’m stupid.” More like I wanted to see what they were saying leading up to Arik’s album release.

“Why are you calling yourself stupid, Daddy?”

“Because sometimes I’m stupid, sweetheart.” I leaned forward to kiss Nova’s head. “Go play with Fox. You’ve left him hiding for an hour.”

“He’s not hiding, he’s lost.”

“Story of my fucking life.” I put a hand over my mouth as soon as I said it. “Do not repeat that. Or tell your mother I said it.”

She gave me a look only a six-year-old could and put her hands on her hips. “What’s it worth to you?”

“Little fucking con artist.” I looked at my brother. “Can you believe this?”

“She’s your kid. I don’t know why you’re surprised. Pay the woman.”

“Yeah, pay me.” She held out her hand.

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