Page 51 of Surface Pressure

“But I’ve also been cruel. I justify it as the only way to survive. But we’re not good people. We destroyed our planet, and instead of changing our ways and improving the lives of the next generation we took to the stars and have destroyed planet after planet.”

The tension between them was fraught. Autumn knew what Soulara was thinking. This was the first time she’d been this honest about what they were doing on the planet. About what would happen to Soulara’s world when she left.

“Destroyed?” Soulara’s voice broke on the word.

“We don’t just take the water. We take everything we can. We take anything we can use to survive, and what we can’t use, we take anyway in the hopes of being able to barter for what we can use later.” Autumn detached from what she was saying. She didn’t want the full brunt of her honesty to hit either of them.

“You keep saying we.” Soulara kissed Autumn’s shoulder, the movement a caress in the midst of all this pain.

“Because I’m not faultless. I didn’t question anything, even when I knew something was going on that I didn’t understand.” Guilt hammered in her stomach. She was the cause of this. The burden was on her. Not that she could have changed the entire regiment she was with, but she could have at least not participated. She could have made different choices.

“Were you taught to question?” Soulara pressed another kiss to Autumn’s cheek this time.

Autumn didn’t deserve Soulara’s kindness. “Why does that matter?”

“It matters, trust me. You’ve never questioned things, but now you are. Why?” Another kiss, one after the other along Autumn’s cheek to her jaw.

She had to breathe through the calm touches, the pure connection she felt even without Soulara being in her brain. Concentrate, Walton. “Because I can’t hide behind ignorance anymore.”

“I don’t think you had a reason to fight before now.” Soulara licked a line up Autumn’s neck to her ear, sucking on her lobe.

Autumn shuddered as pleasure coursed through her again. “Are you saying this is all because of you?”

“No, I’m not.” Soulara deliberately turned Autumn’s face to look directly into her eyes. “I’m saying it’s because you changed since coming here. Whether or not that had anything to do with me and our relationship is moot. You’re different. You changed. You know now that you have a voice and that someone is willing to listen.”

Autumn froze. Her breathing was slow, rhythmic. Her eyes were locked on Soulara’s face, the kindness and love that radiated from her. This was so much more than lust. Taking that fact into her heart, Autumn nodded and whispered, “We need to stop them.”

Without a doubt, Autumn wanted that more than anything. She wanted to know that even if she couldn’t be with Soulara, when she left the planet, Soulara and her people would be safe.

What she wanted more than anything else in the world was to stay. But she knew that was beyond any dreams or hopes. Knowing Soulara lived would have to be enough.

“Don’t give up, Autumn. Don’t underestimate me and my people.” Soulara held their positions, so close and yet not quite touching.

“I’m more concerned about you underestimating mine.” Autumn moved in, brushing their mouths together in a sweet and short embrace.

“I shouldn’t trust you.” Soulara’s words shocked Autumn. Despite the weight of despair that had lowered itself onto her shoulders, she had still been detached enough from them to still ride the endorphin high of their lovemaking. But Soulara’s words stung. Because Autumn knew Soulara was right. Soulara shouldn’t trust her, or any human for that matter.

Wait, lovemaking? When did that happen? When had her attraction and connection turned into something deeper?

She wanted it. But she feared the heartbreak that would inevitably snap her. No matter how this war ended, it would end.

“Why do you trust me then?” Autumn wanted to taste Soulara’s salty lips again, feel the coolness of Soulara’s skin against her own body.

“Because you have value as an individual. You aren’t just your people. And I’m not just my people.” Soulara’s lips curled up slightly, her eyes wrinkling at the corners as the smile took over her entire face. “Because you won’t betray me.”

Soulara’s faith hurt more than betrayal, because if there was one thing Autumn understood clearly, it was that she’d fail to meet those expectations. Without even trying, she would shatter Soulara’s belief in her. “Your people don’t hurt others for the sheer joy of it.”

“It’s true that I don’t and nor do many of my people.” Soulara placed kisses on Autumn’s cheeks, one after the other. “We hold life as far more precious than your own seem to. But we’re not all the same. Tribes hold different values as do individuals.”

“Will they all fight with you to save your home?” Just how ruthless could the merpeople be?

“Perhaps,” Soulara said. “We have some of the tech from the kraken that was destroyed in the deep soundings. And I can be a convincing diplomat when I need to be.”

“What?” Autumn’s head spun with the sudden change of topic.

“The tribe the three kraken attacked retaliated and destroyed one of your machines.” Soulara kissed Autumn’s nose.

Autumn nodded. She’d heard about it, along with the two soldiers who had perished in the mission.

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