Page 50 of Surface Pressure

“I wish that mattered.” Autumn fought against herself. Her heart wanted to tell Soulara everything. Everything about herself and everything she knew about her people and their ruthlessness.

“You don’t think they’ll leave if we show them our full strength?”

Autumn couldn’t speak over the lump in her throat, but she shook her head back and forth.

Silence fell again, but she wasn’t alone. Soulara’s tail disappeared, and her legs returned. She moved to Autumn’s side and wrapped herself around her.

Moments passed, and Autumn wanted nothing more than to stay there forever, even knowing she risked reprimand and potential dismissal for being away from camp at all, let alone missing for so long.

But she couldn’t leave Soulara. She had no idea what her people had planned, and what if she never got to see Soulara again? That last thought sent a lash of fear through her.

“No.” The word came out with a conviction she didn’t even know she possessed. She had to be honest, to Soulara and to herself. “I’ve never known for sure. I still don’t have proof.”

Autumn took a deep breath. Was she really doing this? Was she really going to voice those fears that she barely acknowledged, even to herself?

“Proof about what?” Soulara pressed gently.

This would doom Autumn’s career if anyone found out, and they would. Autumn was choosing Soulara over her own people. And the stunning part was the decision wasn’t a hard one to make.

“It always seemed strange to me. I mean, why aren’t we allowed to explore the planets while we’re on mission? They say they’ve already scanned for life and there’s none present. So why keep us locked in as though anything outside presented danger?” Autumn rested her head on Soulara’s shoulder and closed her eyes.

“They told you there was no life here? That we don’t exist.”

Autumn nodded and leaned into Soulara’s strong arms. She’d never understood what home meant. Not in the ways she had heard others speak of it, not in the ways she had heard from the old stories. But here, in Soulara’s arms, was this home?

“They lied to you.”

The accusation was such a flip from where their time together had begun. Soulara was tense again, but not in the same way, not as if she had been the one betrayed.

“I don’t know,” Autumn said. But something inside of her knew that wasn’t quite true. “Well, I don’t think everyone has. I don’t know how far it goes, but I have a feeling that someone here knows your people are there. They just don’t care.”

“How can you keep fighting for them?” Soulara placed her hand over Autumn’s, lacing their fingers in a tender move.

Did she know how difficult this was to talk about? Autumn had never joined the military to fight. She’d joined to escape, and she had gotten exactly what she’d signed up for.

“It doesn’t matter what I do or don’t do. It never has.” Autumn bit the inside of her cheek, trying to find the rest of the words she was searching for.

“You think you have no agency in this?” Soulara’s words had a sharp bite to them, accusation at its finest.

Autumn twisted in Soulara’s arms so she could look at her beautiful face and find strength in those impossibly pale eyes.

“Why do you think you’re irrelevant?” Soulara’s question might have hurt more had her fingers not brushed against Autumn’s cheek in such a soft and loving caress. All the accusation and anger was gone, leaving gentle exploration and curiosity behind.

“Because I’ve only ever been someone to be put up with. I told you I joined to get away from that place, to escape.”

“I remember.”

“My family wasn’t just unkind. They were cruel and vicious. They took pleasure in seeing me hurt.” Tears burned in Autumn’s eyes again. But she didn’t want to cry. She didn’t want to feel the pain of memories tearing through her.

“Why would anyone be so cruel?”

“Because my people have gotten hard in order to survive.” Autumn shrugged, knowing it was hardly an excuse, but if she had been soft, she wouldn’t have survived the abuse from her family let alone the forces she now served.

“You aren’t like them.”

“I don’t want to be. But I’m not kind and gentle like you either, Soulara.” Autumn flopped onto her back and stared up at the dark sky. Stars sprinkled over it. Was Earth one of them? Autumn nearly snorted. Why was she being so nostalgic for a place that held nothing for her?

“You are.” Soulara held Autumn closer, as if her mere presence would prove her point. “I’ve been inside your mind, and I’ve seen your kindness.”

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