Page 109 of Shameless Expectations

“So do you, Mom.”

Athena’s heart stuttered. He was always such a sweet kid. He’d always had everyone else’s best interest in mind. Athena held her fingers over her mouth. “We all deserve better.”

“So who is this Monti?”

Athena smiled. “She’s wonderful, really. She’s Fallon’s younger sister, actually.”

“Oh yeah?” Simon got excited, and Athena chided herself. She’d always forgotten that he’d had a secret crush on Fallon for years now and had never managed to get over it.

“Yes. She practices holistic therapy. I’ve been seeing her for a little bit now.” Seeing her. Those words echoed in her mind. They were having sex, yes. They were sharing their life stories. But they weren’t together, not in the way those words could imply. But she wanted that. Athena desperately wanted Monti to be right there with her through whatever the next step was. “She’s been very helpful.”

Athena missed what Simon said next, because she was still so caught up in the fact that she wanted Monti. And it was about more than what Monti could do for her. She wanted to help Monti. She wanted to be there when Monti finally decided to open up and let love in. She wanted to be the one who loved her.

But she wasn’t sure it would ever work. Even if Monti visited more often than she had been, she was such a free spirit. Athena couldn’t imagine her ever being tied to one place for longer than a month at a time. It wouldn’t work. They could have a fling, they could share moments together when Monti was in town, but that’s all they would ever be together.

Athena would have to decide if that was enough.

“Hey, Mom. I’m going to call Dad. Okay?”

“Sure thing, baby.” Athena brushed her fingers over her lips, that sense of dread she’d done so well to avoid settling into the pit of her stomach. “Call me if you need to talk this through more, okay? I’ll make sure to answer. And I do want to talk to you more about some things, maybe explain where I’m at right now when you have time.”

“For sure. I love you, Mom.”

“Love you too, Simon.”

He hung up first. And Athena dropped her phone onto the desk. She brushed her fingers over her face and then through her hair. She was in love. And Simon, her son who had never met Monti, seemed to pick up on that fact.

She was in love.

The only problem was what was she supposed to do about it?

thirty-five

Monti handed Athena the tea and sat next to her on the couch. The number of books they’d consumed in their first ten days there was immense. Athena was going to need a whole new library for next time. Monti smiled at the thought, but then it sent a scared little chill through her.

Did she really want there to be a next time?

“I wanted to talk to you about something.” Athena didn’t sound so sure either.

Monti rubbed her lips together as she put down the book she’d just grabbed and turned her full attention to Athena. At the very least, Athena deserved that, didn’t she? It didn’t matter if Monti was having internal turmoil. She had to be there for Athena.

“I spoke with Kevin earlier this week, and I talked to Simon a couple days ago.”

Okay, well that wasn’t that odd. Monti kept her mouth closed, waiting for Athena to find whatever words she was looking for. Monti ran her fingers along her thigh, using the gentle movement to soothe herself. There was no reason for her to be upset or hypervigilant.

“Kevin and I are separating.”

The words slammed Monti in the chest. Her entire body tightened. Her chest constricted, making it difficult to breathe. There was only one question racing through her mind, and she didn’t even know how to ask it. She couldn’t ask it, could she? Because this was Athena’s turn to share. Monti clenched her fist around the arm of the couch, using the feeling of the fabric under her palm to keep her rooted.

But it wasn’t working.

“I retained an attorney, and we’ll be working on filing for divorce shortly. It shouldn’t take too long since we kept everything separate to begin with except where it concerned Simon, but he’s an adult now.” Athena was rambling.

Monti understood that, but she still couldn’t get herself to focus. Panic clawed its way up her chest. Hadn’t she just been thinking that she was ready for this? That she wanted to have deeper and more meaningful relationships?

“Anyway, not much will change for me going forward, I should think.” Athena touched Monti’s arm, dragging Monti’s mind fully back into the moment. “I’m doing this for me, you know.”

The ringing in Monti’s ears came to a sudden halt. When had that started? She sucked in a sharp breath, filling her lungs as the constriction in her chest loosened just a little bit.

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