Page 108 of Shameless Expectations

That much was true at least, or at least as true as she was willing to admit. It wasn’t why she hired Monti, but that had certainly been the turning point in their relationship.

“Are you serious?” Everything on the other end of the phone was silent save for Simon.

Athena wished she was there in person, to assure him that nothing would change, that all of these things were happening for the right reasons. “Yes. I know I wasn’t the best mother to you. I’ve struggled with some things in my past and I let them affect my relationship with you.”

“Mom…” Simon trailed off. “I don’t even know what to say right now.”

“You don’t have to say anything. But your dad and I have been married a long time, and we’ve never been under the illusion that our marriage was anything other than what it was.” Athena started playing with the pen again, drawing circles and flowers lazily on whatever piece of paper she could find. She needed to distract herself from avoiding any more of this conversation.

When the energy coursing through her was too much, she stood up and paced her office. From the window to the wall to the door and back again. She made circles around her desk. Athena listened for any sign from Simon that would tell her where to head next with the conversation.

“Your dad and I got married to appease our parents and to make a life for ourselves that we wanted to make. We both knew exactly why we were getting married and what our marriage would look like. But times are different now. We don’t have to do this anymore.” Athena’s voice wavered. Was she really going to tell him? Was she going to tell Simon the one thing she’d kept hidden for years?

“So you got married just to shut other people up?”

“Yeah.” Athena hated admitting that. She wished she had been stronger when she was younger, more like him. She ran her fingers through her hair again. “I was different back then. There was a lot going on. Your dad and I have been friends all our lives, and I knew he would take care of me. He saved me.”

“No offense, Mom, but that sounds like the most selfish thing on the planet.”

“It was.” Athena nodded in agreement. She hated to think about it like that, but Kevin did get something out of their marriage too. His parents never would have accepted him being gay. They never would have allowed him to inherit anything or carry on the family name. He would have been ousted in two seconds flat. But they were dead now, and Kevin could have far more freedom. “But Dad got some things out of it too, I promise. You’ll probably want to talk to him when we’re done talking. He’s expecting your call whenever you’re ready.”

“Are you really doing this?” Simon asked again. He sounded like a lost little boy, afraid of the monsters under his bed again.

Oh how Athena wished she could wrap him up in her arms and hold him tight. It didn’t matter if he was twenty-one, he was still her little baby. She smiled as she stopped in front of the window, seeing Monti read a book outside. Her legs bare in the sunlight as she soaked it all in. Athena would love to kiss her way up those legs, between them.

“Mom?”

“Yes. Sorry. Yes, I’m really doing this. Dad and I talked about it.” Athena bit the inside of her cheek. She crossed her arms. She really needed to focus on Simon right now. “I guess you could say that I met myself again.”

Simon groaned. “What does that even mean?”

She knew she was overwhelming him with information. “It just means that I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and a lot of introspection. I’m ready for some changes to happen, and so is your dad. We both want this.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Simon responded. “I didn’t think you’d ever drop this bomb on me.”

Something in his phrasing caused Athena to pause. She furrowed her brow and thought through the words again. “What do you mean by ever?”

“You and dad have never really been happy.”

“We’re very happy with each other.”

Simon groaned. “That’s not what I mean.” He sucked in a sharp breath and blew it out. “I mean you two were never really married. You always just kind of did your own thing.”

“Yeah, that’s what we agreed to when we got married.”

“Right, so I guess…I guess what I’m saying is this doesn’t really come as a surprise. I mean it does, but it doesn’t.” Simon finally finished, and she could hear the relief now that it was out in the open.

Athena plopped down in her desk chair, still staring outside, but now she couldn’t see Monti. “You’re right.”

“Did you meet someone?” He sounded so hesitant in his question.

Athena couldn’t lie to him. She’d never done that before, and she didn’t want to start now. She couldn’t get Monti’s image out of her mind. Her sweet smile, her firm hands, but it was so much more than that. It was the way that Monti made her feel so utterly safe. Athena had never experienced that before.

“Yes.”

“Really?” Simon asked, his voice raising up loudly.

“But it’s not like you think it is, I promise. Monti has helped me see the world in a new way. She helped me deal with some of the issues in my past—or at least start to. And I realized that I can’t keep living like this. Your dad deserves so much better than what I can give him.”

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