Page 114 of Shameless Expectations

“If only it was easy to trust. Not trust you, that’s actually easy.” Athena ran her fingers over Monti’s body, teasing and touching wherever she could. “Trusting myself is harder.”

“I never said it would be easy.” Monti bent down, their mouths pushing hard together. The kiss was raw.

Athena tilted her chin up, deepening the embrace. She sucked Monti’s lower lip into her mouth and pulled Monti down on top of her. Athena wrapped her arms and her legs around Monti’s body. This wasn’t going to be easy. Nothing between them had been easy up until that point. That wasn’t what scared her. It was the fact that this wasn’t set in stone. That Athena had no idea what was going to happen next. That in a few days, when they flew back to Seattle, this could all still end.

She wanted to beg Monti to tell her what to do, to take the decision-making power out of her hands. Because it was overwhelming to have to decide. She started to shake, and Monti must have noticed, because her kisses eased up and her touches became far more soothing than inciting.

“Don’t stop,” Athena begged, not willing to slip into that worry and fear. “Please, don’t stop.”

“You’re trembling,” Monti answered.

“I know.” Athena kissed her again, desperation in the touch. She clung to the familiarity, the hope that Monti gave her. The peace they’d made together. “I want this.”

“But we don’t have to go this fast.”

“Monti.” Athena stopped. She cupped Monti’s cheeks and dragged her so they were staring at each other eye to eye. “I want this. I told you that I want to fuck you into tomorrow, and I plan to deliver on my promise.”

Monti’s lips parted, as if she was about to protest again.

“Don’t.” Athena dragged in a breath, and her trembling stopped. She wasn’t going to let her trauma get in the way of something that was so good. “Don’t make this about something that happened in the past. This is about us, right now, right here, in this moment.”

“Okay,” Monti murmured. “Okay.”

“Let me touch you.”

“How?”

“However you want.” Athena trailed her nails, scraping along Monti’s hips upward. She cupped Monti’s full breasts. “Just tell me what you want.”

“Together.”

“What?”

“Let’s do this together. I know it’s sometimes an awkward position, but at the very least we can do it with each other. And isn’t that what this is all about?” Monti kissed her swiftly before shifting.

Before Athena knew what was happening, Monti had flipped around and was straddling her. “You’ll have to move lower on the couch to make the angle work.”

Athena steadied herself as she slipped farther down on the couch. She spread her legs when Monti touched her thighs. This was so awkward, but Athena was here for it. She snaked her hand up between them and slid one finger knuckle-deep inside Monti.

“Perfect,” Monti mumbled before her mouth was on Athena again.

Oh yes, that was a good idea. Moving her hand, Athena started with her mouth. Is this what Monti had felt like moments before? Face buried between Athena’s legs, lost in all the sensations and reactions. Athena closed her eyes to concentrate. She kept her mouth on Monti’s clit for a count of ten and then she slid her tongue through all the wetness that she found. She hummed as the flavors blossomed, as the heat from their skin intensified.

Athena focused only on what she was doing, trying to ignore Monti between her legs. When her third orgasm slipped through her, she was able to ignore it after a few steadying breaths and really concentrate on Monti. Athena clasped her hands around Monti’s thighs and pulled her down hard. This was her moment, when she could show Monti exactly what she’d meant earlier.

She had to stop being scared.

Fear was the enemy.

Nothing else.

Monti grunted before she whimpered. She kissed Athena’s leg, licked her, scraped her teeth against her. But Athena didn’t stop. She kept everything going, putting all her energy and effort into teasing Monti into oblivion. They were in this together. No matter what they did. And Athena wanted that with no one else.

Monti collapsed onto the couch, her hips twisted, which prevented Athena from doing anything else to her. Athena trailed her fingers up and down Monti’s legs, where she could touch, and she held on, just letting the moment settle through them.

The silence was so comforting.

They didn’t need to talk. They didn’t need words for what was between them. It was just them, wholly and authentically.

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