Page 46 of Puck Shy

When I’m about to break the silence, she lifts her forest-green eyes and exhales. “I want it all with you, Lucas. All of it.”

I swear my heart stops in my chest. For a blissful moment, I allow myself to feel sheer and utter happiness at her words. Then my mind backtracks, and my stomach flips. That’s a very unlike-Stevie thing to say.

“‘All of it’?” I ask, unsure of how to respond.

She smiles so wide it pulls at my heart and makes me want to pin her to the bottom of this tub and fuck her until all she remembers how to do is smile like that and scream my name. But I need to know what she means by “all of it.”

“Yeah, Luke. Everything. At least, I think. You know. This is all new to me. My last relationship was a total bust, and the one before that, well…also a bust. But with you—I don’t know, I’ve never felt like this before. You make me think I can have things I never thought I wanted. Or needed.”

She presses her thigh to mine, and I swallow. My Adam’s apple suddenly feels like it’s lodged in my throat. I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed hearing my nickname so much before. Her tone, the vulnerability in it—it has me in a choke hold. The words she said were what I dreamed she’d say to me in the coffee shop that morning when I offered her a job. But now I know better.

Like Stevie wanted, in the last two months, I’ve learned who she is. I’ve watched her flourish in her job with me and even be brought on to help with the team’s social media. I’ve watched her make friends with some of my teammate’s wives and play with their kids. Sometimes, I’d even allow myself to imagine what it would be like if she were mine. If she were my wife and we had our own kids.

I’ve also imagined us in different scenarios. Less traditional ones like she mentioned. Ones that involve late nights at sex clubs (or equipment rooms) with her tied up or me at her feet worshiping that beautiful pussy until she screams my name and so many other scenes that I shouldn’t be thinking of right now.

I’ve also allowed myself to feel what it would be like to let go of dreams I thought I wanted because they were expected of me. And that’s all her doing. Being near Stevie, it’s like standing too close to a fire. She makes me hot and bothered, but in the best fucking way. Like I can be myself. Like I don’t have to follow the rules.

She’s also made me believe in myself again. I feel like I have control in my life because of our chance meeting on Valentine’s Day, and I’ll be damned if I let her change because she thinks I need her to be a certain way.

She grabs my fingers, and I realize I’ve been staring into her as if I can see through her. “You’re scaring me, Lucas,” she says, her voice quiet. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No, Cherry, you said what I wanted you to say.”

Her lips turn up in a smile that says she’s unsure of my words and what they mean. I trail my finger down her leg and watch as goosebumps appear in my wake, showing me that I have the same effect on her that she has on me.

“Are you okay? This isn’t how I thought you’d react,” she admits.

My eyes meet her worried ones, and I do my best to give her a reassuring smile. “I…” I start, trying to find the right words. Ones that won’t make her run. “I think you should take the next week off.” Her face falls, and immediately I curse myself. Those were not the right words, but they’re the only ones I could think of. The only thing that makes sense.

She pulls her hand back from mine, and her body stiffens. “What do you mean?”

I run a hand through my messy hair. Time to get serious, Lucas. Be a man, and be responsible. “I don’t want to fuck this up, Stevie. You’re too important to me.”

Her face screws up, confused. “You want me to leave?”

“That’s not it at all, baby. I want you to take some time to think about what you offered me.”

“I have. I thought this is what you wanted, too.”

The pain in her voice has me wanting to punch myself in the face. “I do want this, Stevie. I want you, every part of you. But not if you think you need to sacrifice anything to have me.”

Her eyes blink at me. “I don’t think that I…” She trails off, and that’s when I know this is the conversation we need to have.

“When you say you want all of it, Stevie, I want to know what you mean by ‘all of it.’”

She looks at me sheepishly. “You know. All of it. All the things that people in relationships usually want.”

I know she’s embarrassed to say marriage, kids, a life…we may know each other better, but we haven’t dated. We haven’t had an actual relationship.

She’s probably worried I’ll think she’s crazy to mention a future when we’re not even official. But I understand how she feels, and I wish she would feel comfortable enough to say it out loud. But that only further proves to me that she needs to take some time to think. And so do I.

“Last night was intense, Stevie. More intense than I think I even planned it to be. You passed out before we could even debrief it. I just want us to be sure that we’re doing this for the right reasons.”

“Do you think orgasms change how I feel that much?” she asks, blinking.

“No! No, that’s not what I meant. But you can’t deny it was a lot. And you still haven’t asked me what I want.” My words from last night hover around us. “Ask me what I want…please.”

She blinks at me again, her eyes now watery. The sight of it makes me want to stab myself in the chest. But then, after a few moments, she says, “Last night, you said you wanted me. That’s why I thought—”

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