Page 47 of Puck Shy

“I do want you,” I reiterate. “I want you, Stevie. And I want us both to be happy. Together.”

She huffs a confused laugh. “I don’t understand, then! You’re not making any sense.”

“I meant what I said. But it goes deeper than that. Yes, I do want us to be together, but I also never want you to regret being with me because you gave up something you want. When we first met, you talked about why you didn’t think we would work. You told me what you wanted, what you would need to be happy. You were honest with me about not knowing what you could give. Now, you’re offering me everything. Which I think means marriage, kids—the whole shebang.

“But all of that, what we want from a future together, that’s something we talk about as we go. I’m worried that if you dive in with me right now, offering me it all, you’ll end up hating me in the end.”

“I could never hate you, Lucas,” she presses.

I put my hand on her knee and squeeze gently. “I like you a lot, Stevie. More than I’ve ever liked anyone—maybe even my twin brother.” That has her cracking a small smile. “But we went from zero to one hundred last night.”

“Weren’t you the one who wanted to go from zero to one hundred the first night we met?”

The back of my neck heats, and I nod. “I did. But now, I know better. You were right to make me back off then. So I want to return the favor. We have time, Stevie. I want to do right by you. I want this thing to last, and I want us both to be happy.”

She puffs a breath from her lips and squares her shoulders. “Can’t I do right by you, too?”

I squeeze her knee again. “You are. And you have from the start. You didn’t say yes to me when I asked you out in the beginning, and you were right not to. But even more than that, you’ve gotten me to realize things about myself. Or I guess I should say that you’ve made it easier for me to see them.”

“Like what?”

“Before I met you, my life felt out of control. It felt…empty. Work, sleep, eat, repeat. I’d look at the men on our team with wives and kids then at my brother’s new relationship, and to be honest, I was jealous. I know I’m getting older, and I can’t play hockey forever. And who knows if the acting thing will last? But meeting you gave me that feeling back. You’ve made me see that I don’t have to worry so much about what’s next, that I can live in the moment. And maybe I don’t need the ‘normal things’ or the ‘expected things’ to have a full life.”

She looks at me thoughtfully. “And you think me taking a week away is going to iron out any future kinks we may have? I’m just trying to understand.”

“It’s not only you. I think we both need time to let the dust settle.”

“But what about my job and the team? The game against Vegas? You need me to win.”

I shake my head. “I’ll take care of it. And you have enough content to get through the next couple of days.” She tries to interrupt, but I continue. “And, Stevie, I may need you in my life, but I never want you to think you’re a tool for me or our team.”

She looks confused, which only stabs me more deeply in the heart. I know she’s fine with the whole “good luck” thing. But the guys have made her believe she’s the reason we’re winning. The reason I’m playing good games. I never wanted that.

“Lucas, regardless of what you think, are you willing to take that chance? To lose when it matters?”

I grab her hand and kiss her palm. “You matter to me. Your feelings matter to me. And I’m not taking a chance on losing. When I’m with you, I’m always winning. You’re more to me than winning a game, and I want you to know that.”

She looks at our hands then back into my eyes. “I already do.”

“Then a week will only help us both. Don’t you think we owe it to each other to make sure we’re all in, whatever that means, for the right reasons?”

Stevie’s forest eyes turn warm again as she stares at me. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a good man, Lucas McKnight?”

I smirk. “Even after last night?”

“A wickedly good man.”

Chuckling, I help her stand from the tub. Once we’re upright, I pull her body into my arms, and she lays her head on my bare chest above my heart. As I hold her, I realize this is the first time we’ve hugged. I spent the last two months avoiding contact with her so I could respect her boundaries, and before that, it was sex. At this moment, with just the two of us in this hotel bathroom, I know that I’ll do anything for this woman in my arms. Even quit hockey.

She’d never ask that of me, nor would she want me to, but that’s why she’s perfect for me. I rub her back and kiss her forehead, letting my lips linger on her hairline.

“I’ll give you all of it, Stevie,” I say to her after a moment, “if that’s what you want.”

She lifts her head from my chest, her eyes sparkling with emotion again. She brings her hand up to brush some of my hair behind my ear then kisses my chin. “And if that’s what you want.”

I nod, rubbing the apple of her cheek before pulling her to me again.

“Just one week.”

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