Page 49 of Clubs

But at least I had my bookshelves. At least my house smelled pretty, even if I didn’t.

Tears raining from my eyes, chest so tight it felt like it would implode, I collapsed slowly to the floor. A heaving gasp dropped from my lips, and I screamed. I cried, and I prayed with everything I had that I could flick two days into the past. Maybe, just maybe, if I tried hard enough, I could turn back time and erase all of this. And not feel everything that I was feeling right now. Because there was nothing I wanted more than to feel nothing at all.

Normally, I had no problem doing that. Shutting it off. But this time? It all came down. Every wall inside my mind, around my heart, crumbled into a thousand little pieces.

There was one thing I knew would take the edge off. And, much to my joy, when I teleported to the kitchen, my bottle of vodka still sat on the top. Grabbing it, spinning off the lid, I had no doubt. This would do the trick.

I tilted my head back, and I chugged.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

EMORY

All but stomping into the bar, Declan wore the expression of his other form. His brows were furrowed, but his eyes were glassy. Like he was simultaneously pissed and sad all at once.

Emory knew why. He understood why. That didn’t make it easier. Neither did the fact that he came to the counter and poured another full glass of whiskey.

Emory had to tell him. He didn’t want to, but, judging by the fiasco that had just gone down, he had no choice. Declan knew a little bit of everything, and Emory knew just a hair more. He couldn’t keep it from his best friend any longer. But, of course, he knew that he had to break it gently.

“You okay?” Emory asked, wiping a glass and returning it to its place on the shelf beneath the bar.

Declan snorted. “Define ‘okay.’”

Judging by the second glass that Declan was pouring, he was far from Emory’s definition of okay. “With Brooke, I mean. You guys alright?”

“I’m mad at her. More mad at her sister than at her, but I’m mad at them both. But Ria takes the cake.” Declan leaned against the bar. “But I shouldn’t have gone off on her like that. This isn’t much easier for her than it is for me. ”

All Emory could manage out was, “I am so sorry, man.”

“Not like any of this is your fault.” Declan eased out a deep breath. “I just don’t know what to do.”

“It is though. My fault, I mean.” Those words tasted like vinegar coming out of Emory’s mouth. The look Declan gave him, the anger that had been directed at Brooke earlier, now fell on him. “Not completely. I didn’t actually do anything. But I knew that Ria was friends with Alicia. I knew that she was keeping it quiet, and I saw her around back the night of the murder. She was smoking a cigarette when I took the trash out. I knew she ran off, but I wasn’t sure if she had anything to do with what happened to Alicia until today.”

Slowly, Declan’s expression softened. “You didn’t tell me because you don’t want me to be pissed at her.”

“I guess.” Biting his lip, Emory nodded. “I just didn’t know what was going on. I still don’t know what’s going on. I just didn’t want throw her under the bus, you know?”

“Those Lewis girls,” Declan muttered, “they’ve got a way of messing with your head.”

Declan had no idea.

“It’s alright.” The phone on the back wall rang, and Declan started toward it. “We need to talk to her though. We figure out what’s going on, we have a hell of a better chance of keeping me out of jail.”

That simple.

It was always that simple with Declan. He was irate in a minute, but just as quick to cool down. Even though he was upset, even though he had every right to be, he cared about Ria. Underneath that rough exterior, Declan was a big softy. Hence the blowout with Brooke.

Emory felt bad for that too.

He didn’t hear exactly what Declan had been saying, only caught “detective,” and some mumbled curses. Rubbing his eyes together, rubbing his eyes between his thumb and forefinger, breathing slow to maintain his composure, Emory’s heart broke a little more

He shouldn’t have told him about his and Ria’s bet. All it’d done was pour fuel on the flames. Why add more stress at a time like this? It had been intended as a playful joke when he had brought it up, but now it was too heavy. The guy was going through enough, and he didn’t need any more shit on his plate.

But that was exactly what Emory had done to him. Tensions were already high in his relationship because Ria was partially to blame for this, if not entirely the to blame for this, and Emory just had to go and make it worse.

While Emory may have seemed like an asshole to everyone who met him, there was a heart in there. Was it black as tar? Probably. But he had never intended to harm anyone. Especially not his best friend.

Declan was crazy about Brooke, and Emory wanted to believe the Brooke felt the same way. Even if she was horrible at showing it. But he shouldn’t have meddled. He shouldn’t have run his mouth. Especially because, at the end of the day, even if Brooke wasn’t perfect, until the past few nights, she was close enough to perfect for Declan.

---