Page 18 of Clan and Crave

“Absolutely. Hey, Dr. Hupsan says I can be onyour visitor’s list. I’m stationed close to where you’ll bestaying. What do you think of me stopping by every couple of weeks,maybe teach you some defensive skills? Hopefully, you won’t have tofight off jerks from training camps again, but it’s never a badthing to be able to fight back.”

He’d get to see Sletran again? A spark ofbrightness woke in the dark threatening to eclipse him. “Yeah. I’dlike that a lot.”

“Then we’ll do it.” Sletran grinned.

Conyod wished he could fling his arms aroundthe Nobek. I love him.

Chapter Five

Sletran, age 35

The surprise war game was going well.Binmej’s soldiers were formidable, but Erybet’s were on their wayto decisive victory. Sletran’s squads had “killed” or capturedthree enemy divisions. The Nobek couldn’t have been prouder ofthose under his command as they marched their angry prisoners tothe holding pen.

Like any of his breed, a good fight had hisblood up. He knew beneath their training armor, the warriors dukingit out on the sim battlefield were aroused to a man. The barrackswould resound with the sounds of fucking late into the night.

His thoughts, when there was a pause in thefighting and he wasn’t consumed by the obsessive determination toovercome Binmej’s men, went straight to Conyod. They’d had anamazing night, and he was primed for another.

Not only for sex. He was amazed at how thetraumatized youth had grown to a self-assured man. It hinted at astrength that while not Nobek, was impressive on its own merit. Astrength Sletran hadn’t witnessed when Conyod had been a teen.Then, he’d been a boy haunted by misplaced guilt. Conyod had beencaught between loving and rejecting his parents, who’d been toodamaged by loss to properly care for him.

Sletran had distanced himself to discourageConyod’s infatuation when it had become obvious. However, they’dcommunicated enough since then for him to know the Imdiko’srelationship with his mother and fathers remained strained. Thanksto therapy, Dramok Tuher and Imdiko Sema had recognized theircontributions to Conyod’s trauma. They’d done their utmost to relaxtheir obsessive vigilance over their surviving son, and therelationship between the three was the healthiest it had been sinceHoslek’s death.

Matara Lafec and Nobek Vel continued to pushthe limits Conyod had established for his independence. He wasforced on occasion to remind them to back off when they oversteppedthe boundaries he’d set.

He was his own man now. Sletran was delightedon several levels to witness it, and he wanted to experience moreof Conyod’s companionship. He wanted to know everything about theintelligent and stunning Imdiko he’d never seen coming.

As his primary squad reached base camp to thecheers of their side, a soldier jogged to Sletran. “Group CommanderErybet wishes me to inform you High Commander Zyrf has declared ourgroup the winner of the games. Because your squad defeated thelargest number of the enemy, Commander Erybet requests you join himand High Commander Zyrf at the observation post to offer theircongratulations personally for a job well done.”

Sletran grinned. “It will be my pleasure.”After all the pomp and talk, he’d com Conyod to learn if they couldmeet for dinner…and later, maybe the kind of congratulations he’denjoy best.

* * * *

Conyod knew little of the intricacies offighting on the battlefield. He couldn’t have said he cared theleast bit about the subject. However, Sletran was glowing after hissuccessful day, and Conyod was happy for him. Though he couldn’teasily follow the description of the tactics his companion used todefeat the other squads he’d been set against, it was clear Sletranhad exceeded expectations during the surprise war games. Beingpersonally lauded by his superiors after having conquered keypositions and defeating the most opponents was obviously a bigdeal. Conyod ate his order of broiled rizpah, drank his kloq, andlistened carefully to every wonderful, if sometimesincomprehensible, word Sletran uttered.

As he did so, Conyod became aware of a newfacet of his concept of Sletran: he was beginning to see the Nobekas a flesh-and-blood man. An actual person rather than theidealized idol he’d been for so many years.

He still regarded Sletran as his personalhero. He’d turned Conyod’s life around at a sensitive time, whenhope had been its lowest. But now the Imdiko was finally learningthe true person Sletran was.

Bringing the Nobek down to earth did nothingto detract from his appeal. Conyod found this relatable, realSletran far more alluring than the untouchable icon he’d renderedhim in his ridiculous fantasies. What had been childish devotionand perhaps obsession was transformed into a truer feeling. TeenConyod had dreamed of following Sletran like a sycophant, endlesslyoffering adoration. Mature Conyod wondered if he and Sletran couldhave enough in common to walk into the future side by side aspeers, friends, and lovers.

When Sletran reached across the small tableand stroked fingertips on Conyod’s hand…such a small but profoundgesture…the younger man thought his heart might burst. Compulsivecraving for a symbol was transforming to love for the genuinearticle.

“Hey, I’ve been talking nonstop aboutmyself,” Sletran suddenly said. “What’s going on in Conyod Land?I’ve been meaning to ask how your parents are.”

* * * *

Conyod, age 16

“I don’t want to go home. I’m not ready.”Conyod paced Dr. Hupsan’s office, wringing his hands. He knew itfor the nervous gesture it was, but he was unable to stop.

“It’s normal to be anxious,” Hupsan said, histone steady and calm. “It’s only for a day, Conyod. You won’t bethere overnight, and an orderly will supervise the visit.”

“Maybe another month of them coming here forour visits would be better. Yeah, I’ll be ready to go to the ranchnext month. Let’s do it then.”

“Conyod, sit down. You’re getting worked upagain.”

The teen obeyed, taking the cushion acrossthe low table from his therapist. His fingers drummed the table’stop, and he winced at the noise. He drummed his thigh instead.

Hupsan met his gaze. “Their therapist hasassured me they’ve made great strides forward where misplaced griefand guilt are concerned. They’re ready for this. As are you, if youuse the tools you’ve learned here.”

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